Eric Byrnes, the Arizona Diamondbacks one-time golden boy, was recently given the boot by the Seattle Mariners after -- as described by New Times sister paper the Seattle Weekly -- "batting .094, blowing a suicide squeeze, and demonstrating an inability to catch fly balls or run the bases properly, to boot."
Not to worry -- Byrnesy's been picked up by a new squad, where -- compliments of the D-backs -- he'll still be making some serious coin.
Byrnes has joined a softball team sponsored by The Dutch Goose, a burger and beer joint in Menlo Park, California.
Thanks to his three-year contract with the D-backs -- a team for which he no longer plays -- Byrnes will make $11 million this year to play beer league softball with his buddies.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Phoenix New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Phoenix's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
"This is going to be a blast," Byrnes says in an interview with MLB.com. "Playing with my buddies. I can't wait for my first hit. I'm going to ask for the ball."
The Mariners were waiting for Byrnes to hit, too, which is part of the reason he was shown the door.
sickening hilarious as it may be that Byrnes is getting $11 mil to play beer league softball, this looks like the end of the road for a once-promising career, and Byrnes seems to be cool with it.
"I think this is the end," Byrnes says in the MLB.com interview. "You never say never, but I think this is it. Parts of 11 seasons, man -- I gave everything I had to the game. I can look myself in the mirror and know that I gave it my all. I'm proud of that."