Maricopa County Mugshots of the Week: Sheriff Joe's Next Top Models

At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the Fourth Avenue Jail in downtown Phoenix. To be considered for Mugshots of the Week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we'll take care of the rest. This week: Sheriff Joe's Next Top Model—the facial hair...

By Miriam Wasser

July 9, 2015

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At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the Fourth Avenue Jail in downtown Phoenix.

To be considered for Mugshots of the Week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we'll take care of the rest.

This week: Sheriff Joe's Next Top Model—the facial hair edition

10)

Booked on charges of aggravated assault
If Salvador Dalí and a soul patch had a love child...

9)
Booked on charges of second degree murder
Ah yes, the classic neck tattoo fades to stubble look. Timeless.

8)
Booked on charges of operating a chop shop
The chin strap: invented by monkeys, appropriated by men in the 1870s, and favored by anyone who works over an open flame.

7)
Booked on charges of assault and criminal damage
The "Silver Fox" Chinstrap: literally an oldie but goodie.

6)
Booked on charges of drug possession
And this, kids, is what we call a damn good mustache!

5)
Booked on charges of violating probation
As H.D. Thoreau once tweeted, "all things good are #wild and #free, baby!"

4)
Booked on charges of probation violation
Chin Puff— the black sheep of the Care Bear clan.

3)
Booked on charges of shoplifting
"I see your chin puff, mugshot #4, and I raise you this monstrosity growing from my face."

2)
Booked on charges of assault
"Pssshh, one word, fellas: puff-a-licious/"

1)
Booked on charges of violating probation
By the (arguably unchecked) powers invested in Sheriff Joe, we declare this man the winner of the annual Maricopa County Puff Daddy-off. Mazel Tov.

Got a tip? Email Miriam Wasser
Follow Miriam Wasser on Twitter @MiriamWasser
Follow Valley Fever on Twitter @ValleyFeverPHX

Miriam is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times.

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