If you're gay, black, Hispanic, Jewish, Asian, a woman, or you're just able to hear, you may be pissed off at Mel Gibson these days.
And for good reason -- the dude's nuts.
Aside from the public outcry following Gibson's screeching at his now-ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, that "if [she] gets raped by a pack n***ers, it will be [her] own fault," RadarOnline's slow leak of the now-infamous recordings of phone conversation's between Gibson and Grigorieva have landed the Lethal Weapon star in a bit of a PR pickle. (Wonder what Lethal co-star Danny Glover thinks about Mel these days?)
Fortunately for Mel, the Baltimore Sun has a five-point "re-branding" plan for the foul-mouthed star, which includes joining Arizona's Minutemen Civil Defense Corps.
If you're not familiar with Mel's most-recent rants, we've got a small dose for ya after the jump.
In a hilarious, satirical article, The Sun's Ben Krull presents Mel with a plan to restore his image, compliments of the faux-PR firm "Miracle Workers Communications."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Phoenix New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Phoenix's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
In an effort to "turn 'wetback' into comeback," Krull suggests Gibson join the Minutemen.
"There are pockets of support in the Western United States for your recent comments about Latinos. Our polling data suggests that volunteering for Arizona's Minuteman Border Fence patrol would help you penetrate this group," Krull suggests.
Some of Krull's other suggestions for repairing the star's tarnished image include raising his
profile among the Taliban, whose "members responded positively to the statement, 'Mel Gibson is right about the Jews,'" and allowing the paparazzi to "photograph you at a tea
party rally, holding one of those signs that compares President Barack Obama to a monkey."
Check out Krull's ful plan for Gibson's image makeover here.