We took the bait and tuned in to the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office's latest stab at reality TV, Lockup Extended Stay: Maricopa County Jail, over the weekend and it seems as though if you're a lesbian living in the Valley, the county jail is -- as one inmate describes it -- like being in a candy store.
The real shocker from the series' debut, however, isn't the girl-on-girl shower shenanigans, it's the fact that there wasn't a single Joe Arpaio sighting during the entire episode.
The first episode, titled Daddy's Girl, focuses on a newbie to the jail system, Jessica Styx -- a heroin addict who swears (and swears) she's not attracted to women.
It took about two weeks in the hoosegow for Styx to change her tune after a chance encounter in the communal shower with a woman who goes by the name "Daddy."
After only a few weeks, Styx was so taken by her new flame that she went ahead and had the woman's name tattooed on both of her forearms.
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The honeymoon came to a crashing end, however, with the news that "Daddy" was leaving the jail to begin serving a prison sentence and had begun flirting with other inmates.
The news sent Styx into a fury, which ended when she broke her hand by punching a brick wall -- that, of course, was only after she called another inmate a "retard" for doing the exact same thing.
As a whole, the show isn't as offensive as some of the sheriff's office's other reality TV ventures -- the guards are polite and professional, which is a hell-of-a-lot more than you can say about the gals from Police Women of Maricopa County, and Arpaio isn't cluttering the screen with his media-savvy mug.
The fact that some of the female inmates featured on the show say they prefer to be locked up because jail is a great place to meet chicks does raise a few red flags, though.