4

Bikini Beans Espresso to Open Saturday in Phoenix. Hooray.

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

We often feel the desire to wear bathing suits instead of clothing to work when temperatures break triple digits, but we don't do it because gross. As some coffee brewers and roasters in town (Cartel, Press, and Giant) elevate the coffee experience, a new coffee drive-thru called Bikini Beans Espresso will hit the Phoenix caffeine scene -- and knock it down a few pegs.

See also: "Breastaurants" Are Bursting With Profitability

Let's be real here: It's not about the coffee. It's evident because there's no information readily available on who even roasts the Bikini Beans, though there are references to Espressions on Bikini Beans' Facebook page. Further evidence comes in the form of a specialty drink called the Twisted Bikini Redbull [sic], which is a nauseating-sounding blend of Red Bull, strawberry syrup, vanilla syrup, and orange juice to get you pepped and perky. There also will be coffee and smoothies and stuff.

One commenter summed up the whole issue with this place on the Bikini Beans Facebook page:

"I'm not a coffee drinker at All! But I can't wait to have a cup of coffee at the new bikini coffee shop!!!!!! I love the Columbia blend!!!"

Yikes. Look, it's not that we hate fun. It's just that until all work places allow a pants-free environment, we don't ever want to have to watch our barista traipse around in a bikini. Some things are just too much too handle before our morning cuppa.

In any case, if you want to try out Bikini Beans Espresso, the drive-thru, located at 2330 North Seventh Street, will be at 7 a.m. Saturday, May 17.

Follow Chow Bella on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest.

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.