Wake Up Call

British Ice Cream Men Duke It Out in Turf War

If the business model of ice cream vending ever struck you as having just a wee bit in common with drug dealing -- first one's free, kiddo! -- then it appears you were on the right track.

The Lancashire Telegraph is reporting that two British ice cream men got into a heated territory dispute. A dispute that escalated when one of the men, Zeheer "Mr. Yummy" Ramzan, took a tire iron to the driver's-side window of his competition, Mohammed "Mr. Whippy" Mulla. As glass rains to the ground, Mr Whippy backs up and peels out into the back corner of Mr. Yummy's van.

The frozen-treat turf war erupted when Mr. Yummy started muscling in on local ice cream pusher Mr. Whippy's Blackburn beat. Mr. Yummy claims he tried to come to some sort of understanding with Mr. Whippy, but Mr. Yummy would have none of it. Mr. Yummy told a Lancashire Telegraph reporter that he "felt threatened" during that incident and that he didn't mean to break Mr. Whippy's window.

We can only imagine that the two ice cream vendors drove off to finish their fight. A fight that undoubtedly looked significantly like the following clip but with more ice cream-related jokes and puns. No word yet if anyone was stabbed in the heart with a trident.

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Ando Muneno
Contact: Ando Muneno