While SNL didn't actually air this piece during their regular show, it's heartwarming to see that Bobby Moynihan did in fact reprise his role as Guy Fieri in a dress rehearsal released on Hulu. A shocked Moynihan-Fieri finally has an opportunity to read the soul-crushing take down of his latest restaurant on air.
The results are predictable, with Fieri proclaiming, "That's not off the chain. No, that's very much on the chain." He goes on to lament the injustice of having his Time Square offering reviewed by the likes of the New York Times, pointing out that, "The New York Times reviewing my restaurant is like Architectural Digest reviewing a college dorm."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Support Our Journalism
Of course all this Fieri hate couldn't go unanswered by Fieri's biggest fan, "Karl Welzein" aka @DadBoner. DadBoner, who has previously used Craigslist Flint as his chosen forum to pitch a movie to Guy Fieri, returned to Craigslist with a sprawling 2,500+ word retort to Pete Well's now infamous review. Here's a sampling of what you can expect:
Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret -- a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers -- called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?
ANSWER ON BEHALF OF GUY FROM HIS MAIN MAN KARL WELZEIN: Emily Dickinson? Whoa, look at Mr. Writer of the Year tryin' to showboat to the ladies with some sensitive seduction. No one's impressed. No one cares.
Of course the real Guy Fieri, or at least his corporate team, have definitely been making some changes to the "Terror-dome." Eater.com is reporting that the watermelon margarita has quietly vanished from the menu. This is a drink dubbed variously a, "combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde," and a "cup of diabetes." The Hollywood Reporter has also published an official statement announcing that Fieri "wholeheartedly disagree[s]" with the New York Times review.