Rise of the Planet of the Apes: James Franco Destroys Humanity

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Besides doing fun relationship stuff like arguing about how to discipline our dog, New Times blogger Tyler Hughes and his girlfriend, Jackie Cronin, go to the movies.

Tyler: So, if I remember correctly you haven't seen any of the original Planet of the Apes movies, including that awful Mark Wahlberg reboot. What did you think of this reboot/prequel?

Jackie: Yes, I am a Planet of the Apes virgin, but that didn't stop me from enjoying Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The pacing was great, and even though I didn't get any of the inside references, I really enjoyed it. I just had a little bit of a hard time with the drug that makes apes smarter literally overnight.

Tyler: Yeah, I had to keep reminding myself that this was technically a sci-fi movie. They did a really great job with the digital motion captured apes. Andy Serkis, who played chief chimp Caesar, should probably get an Oscar nod for his work. Except he probably won't. I thought that Casar turned out to be the real star of the film. What did you think of the human actors?

Jackie: I thought James Franco was great. Francolicious even. Seriously, that man can do everything.

Tyler: Please, no made up words here. You do realize that he was technically the bad guy in the movie, right? He was the one that created the anti-Alzheimer's virus but ended up creating genius apes and killing a bunch of people. I thought he was nothing more than, "my dad has Alzheimer's and I'll do anything to find a cure" guy. Including illegal things like testing on humans without authorization. In fact, I think that most of the characters in the movie were one sided.

Jackie: Whatever. I thought James Franco was great. But I will agree that the most engaging characters were the apes. I also liked Tom Felton, better known as Draco Malfoy, as the asshole caretaker at the primate refuge.

Tyler: Oh yeah, he also had one of the greatest throwback lines in the movie, "Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!" There were so many references to the original series for the attentive Planet of the Apes veteran to keep an eye out for. I'm sure I missed about half of them.

Jackie: Well, I missed all of them, but it didn't really matter that much. I was kind of surprised by the ending. It's hard to talk about without giving away any awesome spoilers but suffice to say, the monkeys get loose and fling shit right into the fan.

Tyler: I can't say that I was surprised but I thought it ended well. I was just a little bit disappointed in the climactic battle sequence. It definitely had some awesome monkey fighting action. I guess I just wanted more. Also, they went from about fifty monkeys to several hundred in just a few minutes. Seriously, where the hell did all of those monkeys come from?

Jackie: Nitpick much? Wherever they all came from it made for a pretty intense battle sequence. Although, they had a chimp riding a horse? Really?

Tyler: Alright, that's it. We're having a Planet of the Apes marathon this weekend.

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