Lost in love? Stuck in a relationship quagmire Ann Landers wouldn't understand? Trying to figure out what comes next in life? We'd like to invite you personally to bring your problems to Ask Magic, your chance to ask Arizona's reigning slow-jam king for advice on whatever life throws at you. Click here to ask MC Magic a question of your own.
I am a young woman starting her sophomore year of college in the fall, and I just ended a two-year-plus relationship with a guy who is in the Navy. He's being stationed in Japan, and I was feeling trapped by the thought of tying myself down to someone who isn't around, in addition to that, I'm young and he is all I've known.
Long story short, I ended it because I want to take this time to "find myself." But after two years of being in a serious relationship, I don't know who "I" am, nor do I know where to start on finding that person. As someone who has made a career out of doing what you love, where do you recommend I begin? I'm in school and I have loads of opportunities in front of me, but I'm scared of going at things alone. -- Suddenly Single in AZ
Dear Suddenly Single,
You are in a GREAT position to begin the rest of your life.
Too many people tie themselves down early in life, and they never get a chance to really experience life and what the world has to offer them. There's nothing worse than reaching a certain age and realizing that you haven't really experienced life -- at that point you're stuck trying to make up for lost time.
Your ex is in the Navy and heading for Japan; he's definitely going to be experiencing life. What about you? To figure out what it is you love, you have to get out and experience as much as you can, until you find that one thing that stands out to you . . .
Look at being single this way: Now you're free to experience any and everything you want! Jump to it!
I've been with this guy for a few months now, and we're happy, but my friends are starting to act like he's bad for me. It's not like they're saying anything about him, just it's really obvious they don't like him.
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It's okay for now, but it's starting to get awkward and I don't know how to make them deal with us being together. If they don't like each other whatever, but I want them to at least be able to stand each other because I care about all of them. What can I do? And are they seeing something about him that I'm not?
Friend-Free in Mesa
Real friends are never the best at hiding their emotions or feelings about a subject, especially when it's something that's important to you.
Perhaps they feel that you being with him is taking away from you being with them. Maybe they're wishing they were in the position you're in right now. It could be that you need to put it all out on the table and talk to your friends about it directly -- they're the ones sending signals.
But why do you feel the need for all of them, your guy and your friends, to get along? You really shouldn't want your guy to be friends with your girls and vice versa . . . There's potential for major issues right there. Good luck!
I work 40 hours a week at a job that has nothing to do with music, then I go home and try to pursue it on my time off. It's hard, though. Sometimes I'm just too tired to really get anything done.
I can't quit anytime soon, so I won't be able to make music full-time. How do you make time for music while you're keeping all your business stuff going?
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That's how many hours are in a seven-day week! Your 40-hour job is only taking up about a quarter of that week. Let's assume that sleep/rest is taking up another 40 hours. That still leaves you with more than 80 hours to pursue your dream.
When I got "married to music," I knew I had to be faithful to her and put in the necessary time and effort to make her want to reward me. Now, here I am, a number of years later, and we're at a point where we can reward each other.
Anything worth wanting is going to require you to make sacrifices -- at times, it'll mean no social life, no enjoying the summer, no hitting the clubs . . . It requires some serious dedication and time delegation. Always keep in mind, unless you are the boss where you work at, you just have a job, show your music some serious attention and it can reward you with a career.