Music News

Bottoms Up: The Jimi Hendrix Liquid Experience Inspires InSIPid Humor

By Niki D’Andrea

Jimi Hendrix died 38 years ago, but his music lives on - and his merchandising does, too. Caffeine fiends can now drink a real “rock star” energy drink -- the “Jimi Hendrix Liquid Experience.” The flavorful brew was introduced last year by The Liquid Experience Group, a division of Beverage Concepts, LLC, and seems to be catching on in consumer land. The drink is available in seven states -- New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Florida, Nevada, California, and Arizona, and the company looks to expand its distribution over the next two years.

The drink itself tastes pretty good -- rather like carbonated Cherry Kool-Aid with a kick (that’d be 192 mg of caffeine, more than twice that of a Red Bull), and the can boasts a stunning silver and purple hazy design with an image of Hendrix in flames. (Personally, I’d have voted for the Hendrix-humping-an-amplifier image, but as Paris Hilton says, “Whatever.”)

But the concept of a rock icon-themed energy drink (along with the massive dose of caffeine) really got the wheels spinning in my head, and I started thinking about what other rock icons might make for interesting energy drink brands. Here’s a handful of hypotheticals:

Jerry Garcia’s Endless Jam Juice The can design: Rainbow tie-dye with hopped-up Dancing Bears running in circles. Tastes like: 100 tabs of Orange Barrel LSD. Feels like: Hearing “Casey Jones” for five hours, and then wandering around a parking lot with bloodshot eyes for another three hours, trying to find your Volkswagon van.

John Bonham’s Big Banger The can design: Holographic hermit that waves his staff when the can is turned to either side, surrounded by invented esoteric symbols. Tastes like: Choking on your own vomit. Feels like: A drumstick up the bum, or a red snapper fish up the…nevermind.

Axl Rose’s November Rain (To be touted for release every six months for the next ten years; actual release date unknown) The can design: Explosive red waves writhing out from beneath sweaty leather pants. Tastes like: Night Train brand bum wine. Feels like: Ready to crash and burnnnn.

David Lee Roth’s Diamond Dew The can design: Roth’s crotch in pink pleather pants, scaled to 20x its actual size. Tastes like: A bittersweet band reunion. Feels like: Running with the devil. Go ahead and jump.

Stevie Nicks’ Crystal Visions The can design: Layers of glittery lace and chiffon, waving across the can in airy-fairy fashion. Tastes like: The white-winged dove. Feels like: Singing “Ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh.”

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Niki D'Andrea has covered subjects including drug culture, women's basketball, pirate radio stations, Scottsdale staycations, and fine wine. She has worked at both New Times and Phoenix Magazine, and is now a freelancer.
Contact: Niki D'Andrea