I've been a fan of Owl City since waaaay back in spring, long before everyone and their moms became fans, before the project started getting play on Top 40 radio stations and before he sold out Martini Ranch last weekend.
And I bought Owl City's current album, Ocean Eyes, even though vocalist/programmer Adam Young is a total rip-off of The Postal Service's Ben Gibbard. It was mostly for his beats, which are sweet little melodies that sound like lullabies - -ironic, considering Young wrote most of his material during bouts of insomnia.
While I love the music, though, the lyrics pain me because they're so freaking wimpy. In "The Bird and the Worm," he sings the joys of picking apples. In "Dental Care," he croons, "I'd rather pick flowers instead of fights." And he outright admits in "Cave In" that his backbone is paper thin.
He's even more of a lovable wuss in his current single, the sickeningly sweet, Fireflies. He sings: "'I'd get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Phoenix New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Phoenix's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Awwww. Now there is something to be sad about. Only 1,000, Adam? The fireflies don't even want to hug you? They're tired of your pussy lyrics, too?
He then admits he would cry when the lightning bugs leave. The boy doesn't even have enough self-esteem to get over insects who don't want to touch him. If that's not emo, I don't know what is.
I am all about sensitive partners and am pro-peace and would love for the world to be all happy and sunshine and rainbows all the time. But I can't help but throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I listen to Owl City. I'm going to keep playing his music, but Young is too much of a sad puppy dog to ever win us over with those fairytale lyrics.