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Tokio Hotel: Are the Fans More Crazy Than the Band Is Lame? Or Vice-Versa?

Perhaps it's not that evident for a casual observer, but this week is painfully slow for new music releases. It is my job to select one album that comes out every Tuesday and find some reviews of said album to post on Up On The Sun for my Review Roundup. Some weeks it's difficult to choose just one album to feature, other weeks it's difficult to find just one album. This week being the latter, I had to settle on Teflon Don, the fourth album from Miami rapper Rick Ross. It's a great album, but I had to rely on's bestseller list to find it, and that is something I don't necessarily relish doing.

I usually shy away from using Amazon's list because it features albums from well-known artists -- ones signed to major record labels. I'd rather dedicate a blog post to a smaller, lesser-known band, one that could use more publicity and word-of-mouth. You can call me indie if you'd like, I don't give a shit -- that's just how I see my Tuesday Review Roundup post.

Well, somehow -- in highlighting what a slow week for new releases it was in my post about Rick Ross -- I managed to offend Tokio Hotel fans with one sentence. This begs the question: "what the fuck, guys?"

First things first, let's look at what was said in the original post from this Tuesday: 

That's not to say that anything good is being released today, but when Kidz Bop 18 and Tokio Hotel round out the top three for Amazon's new releases, it hardly constitutes a solid day for new music.

That one sentence is the only mention of Tokio Hotel in the entire post. I didn't tag the post with "Tokio Hotel" nor did I embed the band's name in any photos used. 

All this Tokio Hotel hatred I apparently spewed in my original post drew the ire of multiple commenters wondering why I was trashing their favorite band. Responses such as "Not too happy with this article. While Tokio Hotel is not as popular in America as it is Europe, they still are one of the best music artists to have ever graced music" and "Dude, what's with the negative tone towards Tokio Hotel's album release? They have won a mountain of international awards worldwide, that's not lame in the slightest."

You're right, Tokio Hotel's international acclaim isn't lame. The fact that the third biggest album on Amazon for this week is a live album -- a live album with zero new material -- from a German pop group lead by an androgynous, Pete Burns worshipping young man that doesn't quite have the same amount of fame in the US as they do elsewhere is, in fact, lame.

The fact that a live album from Tokio Hotel is the number three bestselling album for this week proves that it is a slow week for new releases. That was my original intent in my Rick Ross post, and that is the absolute truth. Hell, Humanoid City Live was beat out by Kidz Bop 18 on Amazon's list and that is unbelievably sad -- sad because it blatantly highlights just how slow this week was. Yet my one sentence dedicated to Tokio Hotel pissed off more that one person and for that I am mystified, not to mention annoyed.

Are Tokio Hotel fans just really thin-skinned? If one sentence dedicated to the band in a post about an entirely different musician is pissing people off, then I can't imagine what happens when the band's albums or concerts evoke less than favorable reviews. There must be an inherent air of touchiness with Tokio Hotel fans because they all know how ridiculous Bill Kaulitz looks. These fans have to live their lives being prepared with constant rebuttals anytime they have to mention the fact that Tokio Hotel is one of their favorite bands. 

I imagine conversations go something like this:
Kid A: "I like Tokio Hotel."
Kid B: "Tokio Hotel? You mean that weird German band with that goofy, effete dude with the anime hair?"
Kid A: "Yeah, but you just don't understand Bill's art. His hair is an extension of his personality."
Kid B: "What about his vagina?"

It's okay to be a fan of Tokio Hotel. Their music has the same appeal I assume Kesha's music does -- it's full of mindless lyrics and super catchy choruses, both of which are overridden by the singer's ridiculous aesthetic. But for the select few of you that misunderstood how I interpreted this week to be a slow one for new music as me taking pot-shots at German pop music I say tough shit

It really was a slow week for new music. And you know what? Tokio Hotel sucks, too.

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Michael Lopez