Feathered Bastard

Michelle Ugenti's Masturbation Comment and Her Foot-in-Mouth Disease

Tea Party princess Michelle Ugenti has a mouth on her, that's for sure. 

The Republican state House Representative and former real-estate peddler was elected to represent District 8 voters in 2010, largely with the assistance of Clean Elections funding and the campaign hackery of Clean Elections-parasite Constantin Querard.

And what has Clean Elections -- essentially a form of welfare for politicians funded by court assessments and voluntary contributions from you, the taxpayer -- bought us in Ugenti? Well, let's just say the Scottsdale mom has all the class of Danny DeVito's character in the FX sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Recently, despite the fact that she owes her position to a nanny-state program for politicos, she backed a proposal to require almost all students at Arizona universities to pay $2,000 out-of-pocket, regardless of the financial aid they'd scored to help them attend school.

When some 100 college students showed up to a committee hearing to voice opposition to a law that would make going to college even harder for them than it already is, Ugenti callously remarked, "Welcome to life."

Too bad we can't make this proposal retroactive, so that Arizona State University grad Ugenti could pay back out-of-pocket fees for her time in school. That's assuming mommy and daddy didn't pick up her tab.

Moreover, if Ugenti is really opposed to the free ride, she should return all of the dough Clean Elections doled out to her for her 2010 run. 

Oh, and let's eliminate any mortgage deduction she takes on her home. Ditto the income-tax deductions for her kids. I mean, if she can't pay for the rugrats, don't have them, right?

Ugenti's lowbrow approach to politics was also on display as she chaired a recent session of the House Government Committee, which had just given a do-pass recommendation to a bill that would gut the authority of the Arizona Corporation Commission, and force it to get Legislative approval for certain decisions.

As the Legislative cameras rolled, Ugenti bantered with male colleagues about how long the hearing might go on and whether there would be a break for dinner.

One of them informed Ugenti: "Michelle, I have a hot date tonight."

"No you don't, stop it," she shot back. "Your right hand doesn't count."

Makes you wanna party with that trash-talkin' GOP babe, eh? She's like the cool chick at college who likes to hang with the guys, doing shots and trading dirty jokes.

Assuming you can afford the $2K bar to get into college, that is. Otherwise, don't even bother tryin' to rub shoulders with this gal at the frat kegger.

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Stephen is a former staff writer and columnist at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Stephen Lemons