10 most Phoenix news stories of 2024: Naked Trump, Mr. ORNG and more

Earlier this week, we walked down memory lane with the 10 most-read news stories of 2024. Today, we're doing something different. These are the 10 most-Phoenix stories of the year.

Besides bad grammar, what is "most Phoenix"? It's hard to define — like former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography, you know a Phoenix story when you see it. They have that je ne sais quoi, a quality that taps into the trademark quirks of the Valley.

These stories involved some of Phoenix's oddest and biggest characters, political and otherwise. They discussed some of the unique experiences of living here. They're stories that couldn't be about anywhere else.

Here are the most-Phoenix stories of the year.

10. A state senator loses her mind over naked Trump artwork

Nobody would call state Sen. Janae Shamp a moderate Republican, so perhaps her pearl-clutching was to be expected in early October, when a giant figure of a naked Donald Trump appeared in a lot near downtown Phoenix. The figure was a traveling, intentionally provocative piece called "Crooked and Obscene," and it was secretly making its way across the nation before the election. The Surprise senator just couldn't believe the, uh, balls of whoever chose to, ahem, erect it. In a statement, Shamp decried that someone would even conceive of displaying such an installation in Phoenix right after the devastation of Hurricane Helene, which made landfall on the opposite side of the country. She also tried to pass off some conspiracy theories about the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

9. Arizonans keep aiming laser pointers at planes

In late August, the Federal Aviation Administration sent out a press release with a condemning statistic: Arizonans were pointing lasers at airplanes at the fourth-highest rate in the country. Such strikes can disorient pilots and make the skies less friendly for passengers. At the time, Arizona was averaging 4.71 laser attacks per 100,000 residents and was on track to break a record for the most laser attacks in state history. Aim those laser pointers down on the ground, folks. Your cats can't get to them in the sky.

8. So many stray cats...

Speaking of cats, have you noticed Phoenix has a lot? Like, roving gangs that take over neighborhoods, pump out kittens and shit all over the place? One might even have run for city council. Charged with controlling this population boom is not the city of Phoenix but apparently a small band of women who volunteer their evenings and hard-earned money trapping, neutering and releasing these cats. They estimate that as many as one million stray cats could be in Phoenix alone. Arizona belongs to the felines now.

7. Thelma Johnson disappears from X

Even as X — nee Twitter — descended into Elon Musk-esque madness, the parody account The Real Thelma Johnson offered a reason to stick around. Quick-witted and fast on Photoshop, she kept timelines filled with a steady stream of content making fun of Trump and Arizona's own Kari Lake. But in October, she stopped tweeting. After the election in November, another anonymous #Resistance tweeter posted — without supplying any actual evidence — that Johnson had died. A reminder: Johnson is not a real person! Our brains are so, so broken.

6. Historic Phoenix neighborhoods on the rebound

For decades, many of Phoenix's historic neighborhoods were overlooked and downtrodden. As the Valley expanded and suburb after suburb filled with new homes, Phoenix's urban core evaporated. But now, living in central Phoenix is chic, with home prices skyrocketing and houses constantly being flipped. There's good and bad with that: These neighborhoods are now much more pleasant, but longtime residents have also fought to preserve their unique characteristics.

5. Suns superfan Mr. ORNG arrested for soliciting nudes from high schoolers

If you somehow missed when the term "Milkshake Duck" entered the lexicon, the saga of Patrick Battillo is a fitting example of the concept. Long beloved by Suns fans for dressing in all orange at games as "Mr. ORNG," Battillo was busted this year for allegedly sexually exploiting members of the Peoria High School boy's basketball team that he coached. The details of his alleged misdeeds — specifically his uncontrollably horny requests of these teenage boys — will truly test your cringe tolerance. Battillo is set for trial early next year.

4. Joe Arpaio's disbarred former attorney now doing standup comedy

Mark Goldman was one of the many characters surrounding Sheriff Joe Arpaio during the height of his notoriety. But this year, Goldman was disbarred after dropping the ball on several cases. He now does paralegal work, but mostly he's embarking on a new passion: stand-up comedy. One of his jokes involves police discovering a dead body "with a box of Cheerios up his butt." The punch line: "They think it's a cereal killer." Clearly, it's a work in progress, but Goldman seems happier bombing on stage than in court.

3. Campaign signs everywhere

From summer to fall every two years, Phoenix drivers wish for good luck every time they peer down the road to gauge oncoming traffic. That's because the street corners are all too cluttered with campaign signs. In September, we explored this phenomenon, looking at Arizona's permissive campaign sign laws and the local culture of snitching on everyone else's sign violations. The upshot? For all the online attention about whose sign is where, no one with authority ever actually enforces the laws about them.

2. One of the Valley's famous faces picks a legal fight

This feud has everything. In one corner, personal injury law firm heavyweight Brandon Rafi, whose face adorns every other billboard and bus in town. In the other, Gil Negrete, a suspended attorney with a string of ethical sanctions and a willingness to scorch the earth on his podcast. This year, they locked horns when Rafi filed a defamation suit against Negrete, accusing him of defamation via an anonymous Instagram account and of submitting a hoax bomb threat to one of Rafi's offices. Rafi may have a point on the Instagram account. A subpoena of the service tied the account to one of Negrete's numbers. Rafi has less of a point on the bomb threat. Months before Rafi named Negrete in the suit, Phoenix police determined a local fifth grader was responsible.

1. Al McCoy, the legendary voice of the Suns, ascends to hoops heaven

Sports stars such Steve Nash and Larry Fitzgerald may define Phoenix for a time, but the reality of sports is they come and go. It's people like McCoy, who pipe into your car radio or living room for decade after decade, who truly give the Valley its sense of identity. In September, McCoy died at age 91. Until his retirement in 2023, McCoy was the voice of the Phoenix Suns and the longest-tenured play-by-play voice in NBA history. His catchphrases — "Shazam!" "Heartbreak Hotel!" — were touchstones for generations of Suns fans. McCoy was truly a one-of-a-kind Phoenix legend.