50 Shades of Grey author E.L. James launched a line of wines inspired by her now famous trilogy earlier this week. You can have your choice between the subtly sexy white wine, "White Silk," or a red varietal dubbed "Red Satin."
We're honestly a bit surprised there isn't a gray option named "Silver Sexy Strap" . . . or whatever.
And as much as we all want this to be another gimmicky joke (per the 50 Shades of Chicken and 50 Shades of Kale cookbooks), the website is nothing but dead serious. James is quoted on the site as saying:
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"Wine plays an important role in Fifty Shades of Grey, reflecting the sensuality that pervades every encounter between Anastasia and Christian. I've always had a penchant for good wine, so helping to create the blends Red Satin and White Silk felt like a natural extension of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. I hope all of you curl up with a glass to savor the romance and the passion."
The white wine is a blend of Gewürztraminer and Sauvignon Blanc. It's supposed to have tasting notes of "floral aromatics of lychee, honey and pear . . . tempered by ﬂavors of crisp grapefruit, mineral and lush pear with a faint hint of butterscotch." The red is a blend of Petite Sirah and Syrah, aged in new and seasoned French oak barrels. Its tasting notes include "ﬂavors of black cherry, cocoa powder, creamy caramel and vanilla,leather and clove spice."
Both bottles can be purchased online for $17.99 a pop -- which is probably pretty pricey by most standards. But considering that Christian and Anastasia pop bottles of Bollinger Grande Année Rosé 1999 like it ain't no thang, we guess we're just being cheap.