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Sarah Hurwitz's 4.8 Mile Phoenix Doughnut Fun Run

Sarah Hurwitz's 4.8 Mile Phoenix Doughnut Fun Run
Sarah Hurwitz

Hey Phoenix, I made you a Doughnut Fun Run.

There's no date for this one — it's strictly DIY. Do it anytime.

Some tips: Before you embark on any run, you must gather a group of like-minded runners/doughnut enthusiasts. Also you must properly warm up. Drink water, go to the bathroom, put on your socks, tie your shoes, stretch those doughnut-eating muscles, and find your running buddy. Okay, here are the details.

Rainbow Donuts

The run begins at Rainbow Donuts, which opens at 4 a.m. — which would be great, except your next stop doesn’t open until 8 am, so don’t get too ahead of yourself! You really can’t go wrong at Rainbow Donuts: They have good classics — the crumb doughnuts, and the apple fritters — but also some trendy updates like the bacon maple doughnut, and the Fruity Pebbles doughnut. Rainbow Donuts also sells cigarettes, so you could also get an after-race treat.

Rollover Doughnuts

After you down your first doughnut, you will head west on McDowell Road until you hit Third Street, and you then you will take a left (south). You have now reached the one-mile mark! Woo hoo!

Head south on Third Street until you hit Roosevelt Street. Take a right (west) for a couple blocks. You are at your next stop! Short Leash Hot Dogs' Sit… Stay serves their Rollover Doughnuts, and this is the place to get some fancy flavors. Also maybe a coffee, like an Orange Cardamom Latte or a Rose Cognac Latte — perfect to mix with a short jog. Likewise, branch out with your doughnut choices and try a spicy Thai coconut with orange glaze, or a chopped pistachio doughnut for some extra protein.

Dunkin' Donuts

Now you will continue west on Roosevelt Street until First Avenue, Take a left and head south. Once you hit Jefferson Street you will take a left (east). You are headed all the way to the Dunkin’ Donuts at Cityscape. This may be a chain, but is popular for a reason: classic choices. And you may be feeling a little out of it at this point, so I would just go with a simple glazed. Then hopefully the splash pad is running, so you can cool off before you head to your last stop.

Welcome Chicken & Donuts

Continue east on Jefferson Street until you reach Seventh Street. Head south on Seventh to Buckeye Road. Turn left on Buckeye (east). Now you have got a good stretch to the finish line! With just a mile to go, keep your head up and start to try and catch people in front of you. Pick one person and focus solely on catching them. As you pass them, because you will pass them (this is a race after all), surge and put your eyes on the next person and repeat.

And you made it to: Welcome Chicken + Donuts, THE FINISH LINE!

Good news is now you can eat your last doughnut AND some fried chicken. At this point, my culinary recommendation would be whatever your stomach can handle, but here are my two cents: the chicken with Japanese barbecue sauce, and the Wisconsin Cheddar Apple Fritter.

Congrats! You did it, now take a nap and some Tums!

Other helpful hints:

Park it. Get a buddy to park one car at the finish line, and shuttle you back to the starting point.
Make T-shirts (everything is more fun with tee shirts).
Got time? Time your race by pausing the timer between doughtnut breaks. Maybe add a speed-eating element to the race? Your race, your rules.
Stick to your favorites. Really, I personally would order a sprinkled doughnut at every location.
Make a doughnut running mix. Some suggestions: "Bootylicious" by Destiny’s Child's (I don’t think you're ready for this jelly); "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen; "Going the Distance" by Cake; "Run for Your Life" by The Beatles; "Doughnut for a Snowman" by Guided By Voices.
If you don't post it, it didn't happen. Do the run and tag us in your photos at #phoenixdonutfunrun

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Sarah Hurwitz