Travel season is nearly upon us. Whether that means lazy beaches, bustling cities, or serene forests, there's one thing we know we can count on to get us through the transit: SkyMall. No use denying -- we know you read the Phoenix-headquartered publication, too.
Yes, there are approximately one million better uses of time on a flight (reading a book, talking to your neighbor, staring at the ceiling), but somehow this catalog always makes its way to our laps before we've touched down at our destination. And when a passenger on the plane doesn't have a copy of SkyMall in the seat pocket in front of them, shit goes down.
So consider this an ode to our guiltiest pleasure of the summer months. Because the worst of SkyMall is what keeps us coming back for more.
See Also: - We're Doomed: Pilotless Flights May Be the Future of Air Travel - Loyal to the Soil: Founders of Bunky Boutique, Merzproject Architects, and Skymall Aim to Connect Arizona Business - Seven Pool Toys We Dare You to Take to the River
7. FaceTrainer This is so quintessentially SkyMall: a gadget that looks completely absurd and terrifying at the same time. Also, does this remind anyone else of The Skin I Live In? Because we're pretty sure that movie gave us nightmares for weeks.
6. Spray Away We're not sure if the only reason this device is funny is because of the image. But the possibility (probability?) of this going off on our unsuspecting friends and family as they approach our homes is also pretty entertaining.
5. Box Of Applause or Laughter This is sad. On a lot of levels.
4. Wrist Cell Phone Carrier This looks like something our grandmothers would have bought us about 10 years ago. We're actually starting to feel a little nostalgic for our flip phones just looking at it.
3. Custom Pet Canvas The product description says it best: "double takes will abound when your dog or cat is posed as a 17th century noble." Yes, yes they will.
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2. The Human Slingshot It looks like this "game" is sort of like red rover for adults? Except the giant rubber band costs $75.
1. Zombie of Montclaire Moors This would be somewhat okay if it were marketed as a Halloween decoration. But it's not. Even after reading this short selection of highlights from the customer reviews, we are still not sure why anyone buys this product.