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The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Benjamin Leatherman

There are some things that can never be unseen. Like any of the slew of awful, unsightly, ironic, and offensive holiday pullovers, sweatshirts, vests, and winter clothing that's worn with pride in the weeks leading up to Christmas. And thanks to the abundance of ugly holiday sweater parties -- as well as the sweaters themselves -- becoming a major cottage industry, everyone seems to have one peeking out of their respective closets.

See also: Ugly Sweater Parties in Metro Phoenix

Besides the kitschy and tacky sweaters that can be best described as a major Christ-mess, we've seen some that are over-the-top gaudy or go beyond the pale in terms of offensiveness. For instance, any of the following 25 examples.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
TaborTreasures via Etsy

Elf-Bama Perfect for all the Teabaggers/Birthers on your Christmas list.  

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Paige Scurlock Homes via Pintrest

Ho Ho No Kris Kringle, as imagined by John Wayne Gacy.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Scoop at Me via Pintrest

Stranger Manger Baby Jesus weeps at the utter ugliness of this pullover.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Farm Sweaters via eBay

Animal Farm X-Mas Some Christmas sweaters are more ugly than others.  

An Important Holiday Message Last seen on your crazy drunken uncle.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
ElvesGoneWild via Etsy

Creeper Cat It sees you when you're sleeping, it knows when you're awake.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever

Santa Booby He's everywhere this time of year, even all up in your rack.  

Holiday in the Hood No one's gonna respect dookie rope chains made from string, yo.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Maybet Santos via Pintrest

Wreck the Halls In case you think the whole Miley Cyrus thing still happens to be amusing and/or relevant. At least they got the "ho" part right.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
via Imgur

Merry Ménage A Trois Rudolph partakes in some reindeer games of the three-way kind. All that's missing is a high-five with the snowman.  

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
CanaryCreek via Etsy

Kreepy Kris Kringle Santa Claus is coming to town...to eat your fucking soul.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
MotherFrakers via Etsy

A Pine Mess In case you want to trim the tree and prep for the ugly sweater party all at once.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
ElvesGoneWild via Etsy

Santa With Muscles For those who prefer beefcake to fruit cake at Christmas  

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
FunnyHolidaySweaters via etsy

This Bites A subtle allusions to oral sex apparently wasn't enough, so they added an arrow pointed at this gingerbread lady's pipe-cleaner junk. It's creators also made one with white-ish pubes, for folks with a GILF fetish.

Sonic the Holiday Hog Somewhere, Naoto Ōshima is crying.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
californialucky.blogspot.com

White Christmas... ...Sorta takes on a whole new meaning with this sweater  

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Tipsy Elves via Amazon

Merry Whizmas At least Santa wasn't doing it into your stocking.

Reindeer Retch For those who feel like the holidays get rammed down their throat every year.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Snappy Pixels via Pintrest

The Snowmen Cometh It must've been really chilly when they took this picture.  

Happy Hands Gotta keep 'em warm somehow.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
ElvesGoneWild via etsy

Call the Doctor... ...To go back in time and prevent this sweater from ever being made.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
the_attic_steps via eBay

Jingle All the Way Um...we asked for balls of holly.  

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Mel Sharp via Pintrest

A Kuato Kristmas Or John Hurt's favorite holiday sweater.

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
Sweetxmassweaters via Etsy

Um... ...Like maybe a sexual harassment suit...

The 25 Worst Ugly Christmas Sweaters Ever
renatej3000 via eBay

...Or This Although it's probably not the sort of package you wanted. The blue balls are also a little much.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties will take place at 10 p.m. on Saturday, December 21, at Zoan, and at 8 p.m. on Sunday, December 22 at Salt Lounge in Scottsdale. Admission is free to both events.

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miles
Zoan

4301 N. 7th Ave.
Phoenix, AZ 85013

602-265-3233

www.facebook.com/theZoan


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