Three Reasons Why You Should Already Be Excited for Halloween (Yes, Really)

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Grocery stores nationwide are packing up their remaining stock of kiddie pools and lawn chairs to make room for three aisles of seasonal holiday goodness. Unfortunately, two-thirds of said revelry is dedicated to Christmas. However, behind the jolly fat man and peeking...

By Bob Beard

September 12, 2012

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It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Grocery stores nationwide are packing up their remaining stock of kiddie pools and lawn chairs to make room for three aisles of seasonal holiday goodness. Unfortunately, two-thirds of said revelry is dedicated to Christmas.

However, behind the jolly fat man and peeking out from behind the evergreen wreaths, dedicated shoppers can catch a glimpse of orange and black crepe, tubes of fake blood and all manner of cheap, highly flammable, plastic masks.

Friends, Halloween is upon us.

I realize that there are those who don't share my rampant enthusiasm for All Hallow's Eve, but with only six weeks to celebrate all that is good and spooky before the other holidays begin their unnecessary encroachment I've devised:

Three Reasons Why You Need to Get Excited for Halloween

Exhibit A: Pumpkin Everything

Beer, chili, coffee, pie. Science* has proven that the addition of pumpkin improves everything by a factor of 20. This time of the year, pumpkins are plentiful and recipes abound. Culinary lords of the gourd use the delectable orange flesh for various concoctions including guacamole, fritters and even martinis. Of course, you still need one to carve a big goofy grin on, so stock up this year.

*No, not really.

Exhibit B: Famous Actors in Horror Movies Halloween, and the networks' B-Movie marathons that lead up to it, are a great time to to do some star-gazing. Before they were superstars, Hollywood's power elite plied their trade in some regrettable shlock. We all know Johnny Depp was Nancy's hunky boyfriend /fountain of blood victim in A Nightmare on Elm Street, but tune-in to late night programming in the weeks leading up to Halloween and you might catch a pre-Titanic Leonardo DiCaprio in Critters 3 or Brad Pitt's masterful performance in Cutting Class.

Exhibit C: New Releases of Sexy? Costumes

Halloween has long been a celebration of exhibitionism, and for the past decade costume manufacturers have catered to this element by creating sexed-up costume versions of non-sexy things. You've no doubt seen fetishized cats, cops, honey-bees and Raggedy Ann in your travels or even (frighteningly) on your door step. This year, celebrate the season by finding the most absurdly promiscuous get-up and make fun of it incessantly. Sexy Leatherface, anyone?

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