What better way to celebrate the nation's birthday than taking a day off? Or, as Homer Simpson would say, "celebrate your country's independence by blowing up a small part of it" (we mean fireworks, duh). You've probably earned a day off, so have a beer or five, eat some barbecue, and watch some fireworks. You have a long day of relaxing ahead of you, which means you need a good playlist. There are some decent Fourth of July/American pride songs out there, but here are the five that irk us the most — and chances are you'll hear a few of them if you're out and about today.
Lana Del Rey, 'National Anthem'
While it's cool to see Lana impersonate Marilyn Monroe and Jackie O, watching A$AP Rocky get his brains blown out a la JFK may ruffle some feathers.
Bruce Springsteen, 'Born in the U.S.A.'
There's usually no such thing as too much Springsteen. In fact, we'd applaud you for playing the album Born in the U.S.A. in its entirety. The title track is a great song, but so is the rest of the album. Rather than listening to this as background music during televised fireworks, how about lighting some sparklers and dancing like a goofball to "No Surrender" or "Dancing in the Dark"?
Miley Cyrus, 'Party in the U.S.A.'
Because everyone will be partying in the U.S.A., get it? Miley makes us wonder if the holiday would be more enjoyable if Jay-Z was playing every time we got in a Lyft. Wouldn't it be fun to roll out to a bar (when they reopen, of course) while blasting "On to the Next One" or "99 Problems"?
Katy Perry, 'Firework'
You're bound to see some fireworks this weekend, so why not watch them come out of Katy Perry's boobs? Isn't that what 'Merica is all about? But really, if you think about it, calling someone a firework is fairly offensive. She's saying that said person is all show and burns out in a big, dazzling display.
Lee Greenwood, 'God Bless the USA'
This one's the worst. Don't get us wrong: It's one of the most patriotic songs out there, but do we really need to hear it every single year before the "1812 Overture"? We highly recommend that you party with Tchaikovsky instead ... or check out South Park's spoof of this type of country music.
This article originally appeared in 2013 and has been updated.
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