Shit People Said at Innings Festival 2018

A massive crowd turned up for Gin Blossoms at Right Field Stage.
A massive crowd turned up for Gin Blossoms at Right Field Stage. Kelsee Becker
The inaugural Innings Festival brought nonstop action to Tempe Beach Park. It was three straight days of musical performances, baseball-themed attractions, and people-watching.

Folks were also doing a lot of talking while hanging out at Innings. And we were definitely listening.

Over the course of the weekend event, we heard snippets of conversations, hot takes, funny anecdotes, excited reactions, pretentious musings, embarrassing boasts, and drunken ramblings.

Some of it was revealing, some of it sweet. But most of it was amusing.

Here's what we overheard.

Jesse Hughes of Eagles of Death Metal was feeling the vibe Friday.
"We love you motherfuckers! We're having a real fine time."

One dude was a little thrown off by Eagles of Death Metal's Richard Simmons amp.
"Is that the Happy Trees guy?"

The 25th person we heard complaining about the long walk between stages
"They really expect us to keep walking from one continent to another? This is ridiculous!"

Some people found love in a hopeless place: the bathroom line.
"So we're gonna have sex in there, right?"

Craig Finn shared some words of wisdom.
"One small idea: I think we've all got to tell the truth to each other."

Meanwhile, back at the Home Plate stage before Queens of the Stone Age...
Woman: "Don't listen to him. You should sooo get a vasectomy!"
Man 1: "It's not so bad. They just cut a little hole and do the thing."
Woman: "I'm tired of pumping myself up with poisons. Do you know how much work it takes to keep from getting pregnant?"
Man 2: "I get it, it's just ... What if something goes wrong?"
Woman: "Like what?"
Man 1: "I don't wanna ruin it ... The doctor — the doctor said I had a nice dick."
Woman: "You do, buddy! You do."

When everything clicks during the Gin Blossoms' set.
"Oh my god! This was in Empire Records, wasn't it?"

But some people need a little convincing.
"Dude, 'Found Out About You' is a good song."

Ben Schneider of Lord Huron digs the desert.
"This is a helluva part of the world. One of my favorite parts of the world."

Some people took liberty with lyrics.
Man singing to the tune of "I'm Coming Up" while recycling a beer can: "I'm coming back / I am Diana Ross."

Others were just plain confused.
Guy watching Local Natives: "Is this the right stage? I'm supposed to meet some people. Said there'd be a bunch of trees — that doesn't help! There's trees everywhere!"

During The Decemberists' set, Colin Meloy shouted out baseball. But some people didn't find it ... convincing?
Dude 1: "I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what baseball is."
Dude 2: "Judging by how he said baseball — oh yeah."

The Counting Crows's crowd had a little more confidence.
Adam Duritz sings: "I wish I was beautiful."
Woman in audience shouts: "YOU ARE!"

Not that stanning was limited to bands playing the festival.
Dude double-fisting beers in a cowboy hat: "Let the record show that no one's better than Maroon 5."

The same guy, later.
"That's Santana. The King. You don't know Santana? He's the king!"

Tbh, bros be broing.
Bro 1: What's the name of the game?"
Bros 2, 3, 4 (in unison): "TO GET FUCKED UP!"

In the end, it was nothing but love.
Chris Stapleton, after someone in the crowd shouted that they loved him: "I love you too, sir."

Editor's note: This post has been updated from its original version because we heard a few more gems Sunday.
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Becky Bartkowski is an award-winning journalist and the arts and music editor at New Times, where she writes about art, fashion, and pop culture.
Contact: Becky Bartkowski
Ashley Naftule