Shelf Life: Parasites, anyone?

By Wynter Holden

This week's supermarket find goes in my Hall of Shame for worst food product concepts. The Fear Factor candy was gross, but expected; the prawn crackers an example of differing cultural tastes; and the Irish moss drink repellent, but at least it was rumored to have aphrodisiac properties. This just makes my skin crawl.

Anyone want a tapeworm? How about 2 Tape Worms? I'm guessing the guys at Kandy Kastle (and really it must be guys, because no self-respecting woman would've signed off on this idea) have never had a tapeworm before, Not that I have, but a friend told me a disgusting story about pieces of a worm coming out of her cat (eew!) once and I've never been the same since. I even had to look away when the long, stringy parasite was removed from a patient on the television show House.

Just because it's strawberry or sour apple flavored and neon-colored doesn't mean I'm going to stick it in my mouth. And judging from its "valuable" position on the bottom racks of the clearance candy, I'm not the only one who felt this way. Let's face it, kids only eat the stuff because they don't know any better.

Kandy Kastle's glow-in-the-dark lightning bug gummies were kind of cute, but their marketing geniuses couldn't have done worse on this one. Well, unless there were actual tapeworms in the candy. That could've gotten messy!

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Wynter Holden
Contact: Wynter Holden