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Soda Drinker Pro Is... A Soda Drinking Simulation

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Humanity has accomplished a great deal in its relatively brief time on this planet. So it's refreshing to see we've even managed to wield technology so advanced that we can properly simulate the act of walking around and drinking a soda.

See Also: -Colbert Struggles With NYC Soda Ban, Conan Offers Alternatives -Oh, My, Bertie's of Arcadia Is Retro-Riffic!

This is the future brought to us by a new game carrying the ever so original title "Soda Drinker Pro." We had a chance to sit down with the game, which is a free download from the creator's webpage, and here are our impressions.

In an email sent to our esteemed colleague, Benjamin Leatherman, the game is described as an, "FPS (First Person Soda) where the player is thrown into a world where they can fully experience soda in every possible way." The creator, Will Brierly, goes on to say, "There is no use in me telling you about it but if you'd like you can experience it fully on your own."

And boy is he right on the money there. Decades of gaming cannot prepare you for the utterly mind warping experience of playing a game in which you wander around a series of square areas sipping on a soda until it runs out. Once it does, you move on to the next level. Controls are handled via the familiar WASD keyboard commands and your sipping is a two-step process involving depressing the left mouse button to raise the soda to your lips and then pressing the right button to commence sipping, with realistic sound effects. You can also pick up bonus sodas which, well you can pick them up.

Mashables has a more in-depth look at this FPS which was apparently created almost a decade ago in a 19-hour coding binge. It sat on the internet, mostly overlooked until a friend wanted to feature it in a Rhode Island art festival. That spurred Brierly to completely rewrite the game in the modern Unity game engine.

Words cannot accurately describe this experience, but perhaps this video will walk you through the fine points. No word yet if New York City Mayor Bloomberg will also ban such an egregious example of pro-soda propaganda.

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