When it comes to shopping for Halloween candy, everyone knows the basics: no generics, no toothbrushes, no mystery baked goods, and if you're giving out king-sized candy bars, word will quickly spread through the trick-or-treat grapevine that your house is the jackpot.
But what are the specific candies that kids (and their sugar-craving parents) look for inside their plastic pumpkin baskets and worn out pillowcases? To help you navigate through the candy aisle this fall, we've compiled a list of the top ten candies we'd like to see on Halloween.
What sets these pops away from those other suckers? More bang for your buck. A gum filled center beneath a generous coating of artificial flavors like sour apple, watermelon, and cherry, gives lolly-lovers two candies in one. And even if you have the patience to lick your way to the chewy core of this sucker (because let's be honest, we all eventually cave and just bite our way into it), you're still ending with the non-digestible substance that is gum. So safe to say this is a post-dessert dessert, and a good ending note to your sugar bender.
Starburst has been giving us soft taffy imitations of our favorite fruits for decades. And although they've expanded to include more exotic flavor packs like Sweet Fiesta and Flavor Morph, the Original pack (cherry, orange, lemon, and strawberry) is still the most popular.
(Note: They now offer a FaveRed pack, featuring just pink and red. Finally.)
Is it possible to get full off of gummy bears? We're afraid to find out. All we know is that eating forest animals never tasted so good.
We also know that you shouldn't sneeze while you're eating one of these gummy creatures. Personal experience has shown us that these gummy creatures can get easily lodged up your nasal cavity. And for the rest of the day you'll be blowing into a tissue what looks to be fluorescent brain matter.
Slap on some temporary tattoos, place a candy cigarette between your lips and pretend like you're a total badass.
Sure, some people may disapprove of this as a gateway candy, but perhaps it will serve as a nice comparison if you ever find yourself mistakenly biting into a Marlboro cigarette. Besides it can't be half as bad as children enjoying candy filled syringes (which, we're sure one of the major candy corporations is working on as we speak.)
Caramel Apple Pops
Apples are in season, caramel is never out of season, and both come together in perfect artificial harmony with Caramel Apple Pops. The sourness of the ghoulishly green hard candy combined with the sweet melted caramel on top, creates an unnaturally sweeter imitation of the real thing. So naturally, both kids and adults love it.
This conjoined candy is easily a crowd favorite - probably because it doesn't have to try so hard. Keeping it simple, the Kit Kat offers milk chocolate coating and just enough wafer cookie to give it texture. On top of that, there's always plenty to go around -- but know no one else in your household needs to know that.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Sorry, folks with peanut allergies -- this won't be the last nutty candy on our list. Peanut butter ditching jelly to team up with chocolate is easily the smartest move ever made by a condiment. And while the Reese's family has grown over the years to include white chocolate, dark chocolate, and crunchier candy bar forms, none of them are any match for the classic cup.
We're just waiting for Reese's to announce it's coming out with a bacon, chocolate, peanut butter cup. God help us.
Past experience has taught us that Twix is usually one of the first candies to mysteriously disappear from your Halloween loot. And with the delicious combination of milk chocolate, caramel, and cookie, virtually anyone with taste buds and teeth could be labeled a suspect; which is why you have two options. Eat all the Twix bars immediately and brace yourself for some epic stomach cramping, or hide them throughout your house and tell your family that unfortunately the store was completely sold out.
One of the bestselling candies in the world, Snickers is one of those everything-but-the-kitchen-sink chocolate bars, offering nougat, peanuts, caramel, and a generous coating of milk chocolate. It's basically a sugar feast in a plastic wrapper. Best part of all, you'll always have one friend on Halloween who's allergic to peanuts, allowing you to reap some serous Snickers booty.
Whether you love it or hate it, candy corn is more symbolic than anything. It sets your candy stash apart from year-round indulgences with the seasonal memento of Halloween. Eat it, trade it for something better, or use if for Halloween-themed crafts. Candy corn is as versatile as it is undying.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.