Film and TV

The 10 Best Holiday Movies Ever

The turkey was barely out of the oven, and already far too many television stations were busy pumping out countless holiday releases (that never quite made it to the big screen) featuring whats-his-name-type actors and low budget special effects. And somehow we love them.

Despite their early arrivals and doomed plot lines, these flicks are what get us into the holiday spirit -- days before December even arrives. But let's be real: The duds are a waste of time. So we're here to outline a few that you'll need to set the DVR to record. Here, friends, are the 10 best holiday movies. Period.

10. Love Actually: With so many separate stories playing out at the same time in this movie you are sure to find a character you can identify with. The slut, the cheater, the little kid love, gay love discovered -- it's all in there.

9. It's a Wonderful Life
Because no matter how shitty your life is right now in this crappy economy it could totally be worse and George will play it out for you scene by scene just to remind you how lucky you are and how you need to count your damn blessings and enjoy the life you have, no matter how crappy it feels. It really is a wonderful life.

8. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Sometimes we all feel like the outsider and want to run away but really what does that behavior get us but a giant pet Bumble to have to deal with in the end? Don't risk it that can be pretty large piles of shit to clean up.

7. Gremlins
This nostalgic flick made in 1984 is better the that other movie called 1984. Choose your level of holy shit and to go with battling gremlins just feels like a better way to get your holidays all in a tangle. For a couple of hours you can point to each different gremlin and decide which one reminds you of which of your relatives.

6. Scrooged
Anger is a really popular emotion during the holidays. With so much happiness around it is easy to get pissed off at all the cheer. But be warned, you too will be hunted down by ghost and forced to have good a holiday disposition. Why go through all that? Watch the movie, learn and avoid all that by just letting Bill Murry deal with it instead.

5. The Family Stone Watch this to cry. Crying feels good when we are stressed or busy during the holidays. This movie offers a whole lot of sad funny moments and let's you cry it out and blame it on the screen, no one will be the wiser that you have other things to cry about.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas Because Lucy is a total bitch and we all have someone like that in our lives and Charlie Browns heart is so big we want him to succeed just to show Lucy she was being a real asshole to him.

3. A Christmas Story  Oh Ralphy, we all really do know what it feels like to get the worst gift ever and to get the gift we think we wanted, feel excited about it and then totally get burned by it. Ah the holidays were no one ever actual feels good or satisfied. Just give us some bunny slippers to curl up in and try to get through it.

2. How The Grinch Stole Christmas That bastard the Grinch is like the man, forcing us to be felt up at airports, taking away our precious shampoo bottles because they were an ounce over the allowed amount. We can only hope all that is over by the time you head back home in the motorized sleigh and the Grinch gives all your shit back and let's you get on with your singing and joyful feelings.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation This is the best damn holiday movie ever. You have crazy ass relatives that show up in their broken-down vehicles, parents with needs you couldn't begin to fulfill, neighbors who you just can't convince to get into the holiday spirit, woodland creatures and sexy super models. It is a caper, a victory and a stand up and cheer film filled to the brim with every holiday emotion.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Cyndi Coon
Contact: Cyndi Coon