We admit it -- our ass is the size of a baby sea lion, and chances are it's here to stay, because we're not gonna be taking any Pilates or spinning classes any time soon -- or, to be honest, ever. Diets? Strictly for suckas and simpletons. That B.S. might be okay for some airhead like Lindsay Lohan, but we've got to eat, Bonedaddy.
Still, just 'cause you got a fat tushy doesn't mean you have to feed it junk food. Instead, roll on over to Fattoush Mediterranean Restaurant, where just about everything on the menu is healthful, whether it's baba ghanouj with pickles and tomatoes, grape leaves, tabbouleh, or lamb couscous. Chances are your butt won't grow any smaller while you're eating it, but at least your corpulent keister will be hale and hearty compared to those that've been on a dietary regimen of Ho-Hos and Mountain Dew. Even the name of the place is for a Mediterranean salad that's served there, not for the kind of fat-toush you already own. For real, this spot serves the freshest and best Mediterranean edibles in the Valley, and we'll keep eating there no matter how much our caboose expands. Belee-dat.