If you're one of the Steel Panther fans anxiously awaiting the band's new record, Balls Out, well, you're just going to have to wait a little longer. The band announced on its website yesterday that the record has been pushed from its original release date of October 18 to October 31.
Practically the entire track list is a collection of sex phrases. If titles like "Supersonic Sex Machine," "17 Girls in a Row," and "That's What Girls Are For" don't impress you, delve further into the album for "Weenie Ride," "Gold Digging Whore," "Let Me Cum In," and--wait for it-- "It Won't Suck Itself" and "Just Like Tiger Woods."
But have no fear. Pretty much every genre, from country to punk to hair metal, is loaded with testosterone to keep you sated while you wait for Steel Panther's opus. And we're not talking garden variety innuendo. Get ready to go deeper than just scoring some sweet cherry pie or pulling the trigger on Gene Simmon's love gun.
In honor of the hair-sprayed drenched testosterock about to be released by Steel Panther, Balls Out, we're going right for the family jewels; the coinpurse; the testes; the nuts.
Here's some of the best album titles that you can always rock out with your cock out to--along with a couple that had such fantastically misogynistic names, we couldn't help but list them.
Ballbreaker, AC/DC's 1995 release, brought Beavis and Butthead cameos during the tour in support of the album, the return of former drummer Phil Rudd, and producer Rick Rubin's magic touch. Even balls turn to gold in his hands. Or, Double Platinum in this case.
Balls and My Word by Scarface in 2003 was the rapper's eight studio album, pretty much a clusterfuck of unreleased recordings by Scarface.. While it wasn't nearly as successful as some of his other albums (if you could call it success), tracks included "On My Grind," "Spend The Night," and "Fuck'n With Face."
Bust a Nut, Tesla's 1994 fourth studio album with such surprisingly not-hardcore song tracks as "Need Your Lovin'" and "Mama's Fool."
Penis Envy, released by the anarchist punk band Crass in 1981 and named for to some of Freud's ideas concerning sexuality. It also caused some record shop owners who carried the record to get fined with obscenity charges.
Balls to the Wall by German metal band Accept, which sold two million copies world-wide and was the band's only record to attain Gold certification in America. If you don't know this metal anthem, you better ask somebody.
Spunk was released by the Sex Pistols in 1977 as a bootleg, with such tracks as "Submission" and "Nookie," making pure punk rock blokes feel full of...spunk in the mosh pit and out (sorry. Couldn't help it).
Open Up And Say...Ahh! was just too good a name to leave out (ditto for the titles below) by Poison. With the quintessential 80's hair metal album cover--day-glow colors and a Gene Simmons-inspired tongue-- the concept is ridiculously unsubtle.
"A Lapdance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying" by Bloodhound Gang is actually off their 1999 album Hooray For Boobies, a mixture of toilet humor, electronic instruments and rap metal guitar riffs. But the fact that the song itself is a parody of the narrative "trucker songs" by Red Sovine (and the name) makes it ball-dropping list-worthy.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.