Sports

Gosh Darn It! Cardinals Fans Are the NFL's Least Profane Online

Cardinals fans can drink, but can they curse?
Cardinals fans can drink, but can they curse? Jim Louvau

Perhaps as the 50th anniversary of Woodstock approaches, we need to bring back Country Joe and the Fish to give Arizona football fans a few lessons in swearing.

According to a survey done by casino.org of Reddit posts from National Football League fans, the Cardinals followers curse the least online.  In fact, it's not even close.

Could that be why the team also had the worst record in the league last year ... their fans just don't give a damn?

In fact, though, "damn" was the most frequent expletive used by Cardinals supporters, who averaged only 2.9 swear words per 10 subscribers of each team's subreddit, according to the survey.

That's only about half the number used by fans of our division rivals and Super Bowl runners-up, the Los Angeles Rams, and almost two curse words fewer than even the refined folks who follow the champion New England Patriots.  And our total isn't even close the league-leading foul-mouth followers of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Tennessee Titans and Cleveland Browns.  You can excuse the Browns fans, perhaps, because they lost 31 of 32 games in the 2016 and 2016 seasons and it's fucking cold where the play.

Anyway, we know all this because the brave folks at casino.org  scanned more than a half-million reddit comments for the words "fuck," "shit," "damn," "hell," "dick," "bitch," "crap," "asshole," "douche," and "bastard."

"Fuck" was by far the most commonly used profanity, found in almost 45 percent of the posts.  Of course, "shit" was No. 2 at 31.8 percent. You can't make this stuff up.

So by now you young folks are probably wondering what all this has to do with Country Joe,.

Well, at Woodstock in 1969, he famously led this chant:

"Gimme an F!  ... Gimme a U! ... Gimme a C! ... Gimme a K!  What's that spell!  What's that spell!"

Victory?

Hell, yeah!
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Stuart Warner was the editor of New Times from 2017 to 2019. He has been a journalist since the stoned ages of 1969, playing a major role on teams that won three Pulitzer Prizes. He is also the author of the biography JOCK: A Coach's Story.