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Best Reader Caption For Photo of Michele Bachmann, Trent Franks, and Russell Pearce?

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Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo we snapped of presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, recalled Arizona Senate President Russell Pearce, and fagala-fearing Congressman Trent Franks for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest..

We had more than 50 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.

We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

A) Reggie VV with: "The United State Geological Survey announced today that due to the confluence of three dopes, the Salt River ran backwards for the first time in recorded history."

B) David Saint with:
Franks: "Russ, thats my leg not hers."
Pearce: "Hehe, I know Trent."

C) Pit Boss with:
Franks: "I call first lap dance."
Pearce: "Fuck you, I'm about to be kicked out of office, I NEED THIS!"
Franks: "Fine, but don't beat her up before I get my turn this time."
Pearce: "I can't make any promises."

D) Painful Rectal Itch with:

Michele to audience: "...and so, finally recognizing the economic and geographic reallities of the situation, I have reversed my position on illegal immigration. I am also pleased to announce the grand opening of the Bachman Family Carwash and Worship Center. We spray away the grime and pray away the gay. My feet are not small. I like monkeys."

Russel thinking: "That is the last time I walk into a Waffle House and order the scallops. I'm gonna squirt in my tighty whiteys. Whoops, there it is. Wait, what the he'll did she just say?"

Trent thinking: "That damn dog is gonna have the trash all over that kitchen when I get home.
Holy mother of god! What is that smell? Wait, what did she just say?"

E) Azheynow with: "You guys all know that my husband, Marcus, is completely straight, right, guys? Russ? Trent?  Little help?

Cast your vote below.

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