Subway's Two New Subs Trying Super Hard Not to Taste New

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Usually when a fast-food chain introduces a new item to its menu, there's something about it to set it apart from the rest: crazy-big, premium ingredients, Double Down disgusting-ness, you get the picture.

Too bad about Subway's newest menu additions -- the Steak & Cheese (on the right) and the Fiery Turkey Jalapeno subs. New and exciting? More like garden variety sub grub.

Out since August, the Steak & Cheese bills itself as "mouth-watering slices of lean and tender steak topped with melted cheese and your choice of delicious veggies." What? There was steak in that? Barely-there meat and cheese plus too many veggies makes Fry Girl a sad sub eater. Bland-o-rama. Take a pass.

The new Turkey Jalapeno sub is part of Subway's Fiery Footlong Frenzy (fueled by PlayStation, kiddies!) And while the taste level of a 13-year-old Halo-ite may not match mine (wait a minute, maybe it would...) it's still no excuse to put so many jalapenos and blobs of spicy sauce on a sandwich that it obliterates the rest of the ingredients. In the words of The Simpson's Ralph Wiggum, "It tastes like ... burning!"

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