Adam Sackler, Dark Lord of the Sith?
It's one of the first things that sprung to mind when the much-anticipated cast list for the fanatically awaited Star Wars: Episode VII was revealed Tuesday, April 29, and included Girls actor Adam Driver among the new arrivals to that galaxy far, far away.
Lucasfilm, the company founded by Star Wars creator George Lucas and the force (pun intended) behind the new trilogy, unveiled the Episode VII cast list, albeit without revealing any of the new characters they'll be playing, including Driver.
And though we're obviously aware he won't be playing a Dark Jedi version of Hannah's main squeeze, or even a Jedi for that matter (does their code permit Knights to go around without a shirt on most of the time?), it's still an amusing idea considering the actor is about to become a part of Star Wars lore, and an evil one at that.
It was sort of a foregone conclusion that Driver was going to be cast in Episode VII: His Girls co-star Lena Dunham dropped dime on Twitter in February that he was getting a part, and it's been widely rumored since then that the actor would play the film's main villain.
Other thespians of a non-Girls nature making the hyperspace jump into the Star Wars Universe for the film, which will be released in December 2015, include Oscar Isaac (most recently seen as the titular hard-luck folk singer in Inside Llewyn Davis), John Boyega of Attack the Block fame, Domhnall Gleeson (a.k.a. Bill Weasley from Harry Potter), and almost completely unknown actress Daisy Ridley.
Veteran sci-fi/fantasy character actors Max von Sydow and Gollum himself, Andy Serkis, will also appear.
And, to the relief of geeks everywhere, most of the main cast of the Original Trilogy will return for the next chapter of the saga, including Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher. Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker -- better know as C-3PO, Chewbacca, and R2-D2 (respectively) -- will also be back for Episode VII.
And after looking at the above rundown and photo, a couple questions come to mind: Where the eff is Billy Dee Williams, and what did he do to piss off Abrams? Seriously.
Guess Han, Luke, and Leia will be rolling solo for the first chapter of the new trilogy without their favorite card-player/gambler/scoundrel.
Very little is known about either Episode VII or new trilogy at this point, other than the fact that Abrams and Empire Strikes Back writer Lawrence Kasdan crafted the script and that the film takes place three decades after Return of the Jedi, so perhaps Williams' character was killed off in the intervening years. Or maybe he had to make a beer run to Cloud City for some Colt 45.
Here's hoping he's back in the cast for Episode VIII. In the meantime, let the fervent fanboyish speculation over which of the new faces are playing which role begin in earnest.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.