Pizza Patrón Offers Free Pizza This Tuesday Evening, With a Catch

Odds are good that if you're a gringo, you haven't heard of Pizza Patrón. Don't be too surprised. It caters primarily to Hispanic markets, with its metro Phoenix locations concentrated in South Phoenix, Maryvale, and central Mesa. Chorizo is an available topping and jalapeños are one of the most popular toppings. Think of Pizza Patrón as a Hispanic Little Caesars. You sure as hell won't confuse it with your favorite neighborhood joint, but at $4.99 for a cheese or pepperoni pizza, you can feed an awful lot of people on the cheap.

From 5 to 8 p.m. on Tuesday, June 5, you can visit a Pizza Patrón location and get a pepperoni pizza on the house. But you have to be at least a little bilingual, as you'll only get that pizza if you ask for it in Spanish. It's easy enough -- "¡Una pizza, por favor!" -- and you'll be on your way with a hot (and greasy) free pizza.

Naturally, an old white guy has spoken out against this promotion. USA Today spoke with head of The Conservative Caucus, Peter Thomas, who said "It seems to punish people who can't speak Spanish, and I resent that." To this, I say: Get a grip. The Pizza Patrón folks are probably going to be ridiculously busy Tuesday evening but should still have enough time to give you a quick Spanish lesson if your head is so far up your own behind that you can't say "please" en Español if you've never spoken a word of Spanish.

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