10 Dick Moves to Avoid at Concerts
Cell-phone shot of a fan watching Bebe Rexha's set at Comerica Theatre.
We're big believers that everyone should be able to enjoy any concert in any manner they'd like. That said, there's one stipulation: Your enjoyment of a concert shouldn't directly interfere with someone else's enjoyment.
That's it. It's pretty simple, there's only one rule of this concert-going Fight Club, and it's basically "Don't be a dick." Here are 10 dick moves you should do your best to avoid doing at concerts of any kind.
10. Wave your smartphone as if it's a lighter. We get it, you look at those old photos from shows of decades past and see everyone holding up their lighters during a slower song, and you get all nostalgic for a time when you weren't even old enough to go to concerts (or maybe even alive). The fact is, the light from your iPhone/Galaxy (or whatever soon-to-be-irrelevant phone you have) just isn't the same as the tiny flames of yesteryear. If you have a lighter, wave it. If you have a smartphone, keep it in your pocket. Otherwise, you'll look ridiculous.
9. Wear the band's merch. Want to show everyone that it's your first concert and you're on the same level as a 14-year-old One Direction fan? Then go ahead and wear the band's T-shirt (or hat, jacket, etc.). If not, wear anything else and you should be good. The only time it's acceptable to have the band's name or logo on your clothing is if it's a super-awesome old vest/jacket with a ton of patches on it, including one for the band you're seeing. Bonus points if you wear an awesome band shirt from a totally different genre.
8. Stick your elbow into someone else's spine/kidneys. If you ask us, whoever gets to the venue first deserves to be in the front row. It shows dedication, and the lack of a full-time job you can't ditch. In the event that you feel the need to push your way past those who arrived before you, try to remember that you're the one who's probably being a jerk, and do it in the politest way possible. Regardless of whether you're trying to push your way to the front or just crammed into a tightly packed crowd, keep your bony joints out of the delicate spots of other people's bodies as best you can. Sometimes, you won't be able to help where your elbows, knees, hands, and feet land, but just don't do it on purpose, and we'll try not to hate you.
7. Pretend to sing along when you don't know any of the words. There's always that one guy (or gal) at the concert who thinks they know a lot more songs than they actually do. They know the two or three songs on the radio, and maybe spun the album once (metaphorically speaking, on their iTunes), but that's not going to stop them from singing at the top of their lungs to every song played that night. They probably figure they're close enough, or that other people won't notice if they're just mumbling gibberish, but it's painfully obvious when you're just belting out nonsense. Keep your dignity and keep your mouth shut when you don't know the lyrics; we're sure you can have plenty of fun when only singing the parts you actually know.
6. Go against the vibe of the mosh pit. The type of mosh pit that's likely to break out at a show is entirely dependent on the concert itself. While some bands/genres are more prone to intense and violent mosh pits than others, pits for the toughest hardcore group playing for a crowd full of 50-year-old accountants are going to be tamer (or shorter lived, at least) than a pop-punk band playing for high school and college students. There's always that one guy who doesn't want to go home with bruises from a pit at a Sick Of It All show or does want to legitimately deck people while New Found Glory is playing, and usually everyone else in the mosh pit tends to hate him. Don't be that guy. If you don't want to participate in the type of pit that's occurring, then don't take part in it. Express yourself in other ways, and don't even get us started on going the wrong direction in circle pits.
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