Oh, white people: They sure love turning other cultures’ holidays into an excuse to tie one on. But maybe you don’t wanna take your chances on the streets during Cinco de Mayo, one of the Valley’s favorite amateur-drunk nights? We can’t say we blame ya. A better option might be to host a little house party and play a round of “Drinco de Gringo,” Phoenix New Times’ Cinco-themed board game. You provide the playing pieces (coins will do in a pinch), a die and the various eats and drinks you’ll find mentioned above. We provide the game board; you can download it on our site. Collect your guests’ car keys and enjoy.
Instructions: Start at the Curios Shop. Each player takes a turn rolling the die. Move your piece the rolled number of squares, proceeding counterclockwise around the game path, following any instructions on the square you land on. Literally. Those players identifying as female should detour through the “Señoritas” room. Ditto the boys with “Señors.” Nonbinary folks, take your pick. After making three complete trips around the board, begin making your way up the path toward the winner’s circle. You must land in the winner’s circle on an exact roll to complete the game. If you do not hit an exact roll, you bounce out and make the trip around the board once again. The gameplay ends when all players have either finished the game or passed out cold. Good luck!
Public Service Announcement: Should you choose to partake in the various Cinco celebrations around the Valley, do both yourself and the rest of us a favor and use Uber, Lyft, a cab or a designated driver. Gracias.
This article first appeared in 2017 and has been updated.