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Seven Pool Toys We Dare You to Take to the River

As you plan your next pool party or day at the river, it never hurts to come prepared.

But there are certain aquatic accessories that might say you're overdoing it. And while it's nice to make a splash at the party, bringing any of the following would be the social equivalent of a cannonball.

7. Six-Piece Fitness Set

Yeah, your friends will laugh, but you'll be the one laughing later, when you have a rocking bikini body under a lavender buoyancy belt.

6. Singing Gondolier

Billy the Big Mouth Bass finally got old? Meet Luciano Poolvarotti, a.k.a. Splashido Domingo. This motorized gondolier pushes his plastic gondola around pool as he sings the same three Italian songs over and over again. He even lights up at night for times when you really want to set the mood.

5. Mermaid Swim Fins

You're now one step closer to fulfilling a Disney fantasy. We're not sure to what degree these mermaid fins will hinder your ability to swim or make friends, but we do know that you'll have to have pretty small feet to try them out. Apparently, the manufacturer assumed that only children would be interested in wearing these. Oh, how wrong they were . . .

4. Swim Rays Underwater Hand Lights

You light up my life and my pool. Swim Rays Underwater Hand Lights are the perfect way to restore faith in your friends after the dark days of your depantsing ways. This toy lets them know where your hands are at all times.

3. Remote Control Drink Float

Tired of getting out of the water every time you need a cold one? Sure, they sell floating drink holders, but why stop there? Now the drinks can be brought to you through the simple push of a button. Remote control drink floats are all the rage for alcoholics who know how to swim but choose not to.

We just hope that remote control is waterproof.

2. Aquatic Rock Climbing Wall

Do you ever find yourself climbing out of the pool only to wish that the climbing didn't have to end? Well, now it doesn't. With the AquaClimb, you can scale rock walls with the ease of knowing that if and when you fall, the worst possible scenario would be that you get royally bitch-slapped on your back by the water.

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Or that wall falls on you and all of your friends. But that's, like, worst case scenario.

1. Barbecue Dining Boat

A cookout essential for the everyday most eccentric man on Earth, this motorized grilling oasis comes equipped with a steel barbecue grill, umbrella-shaded dining table, storage compartments for all-day meat excursions, and seating for up to 10 friends, which is good, because you're going to need at least that many to transport it to the nearest body of water, and then set it up.

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