Madcap Moses

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Bite Me: Do they beat you with billy clubs? (Bite Me's got a gal pal who grabs hold of her cop boyfriend's nightstick harnessed to the bedpost to achieve orgasm.)

CT: It happens. Steer clear of the sheriff's office.

Barbara Trautman


Bite Me: What'd y'all snack on tonight?

BT: I had a fillet.

Bite Me: Jesus! No beef?

BT: I had the salmon fillet and a caesar salad. It was all wonderful. And the service was fantastic!

Bite Me: Do you eat here a lot?

BT: No, but I will after tonight. Ron Szematowitz was our waiter, and his service was outstanding. We even stopped and complimented his boss on the way out.

Bite Me: Was he the best waiter you've ever had in your whole life?

BT: He was the best waiter we've had in Phoenix. He was really good, didn't rush us or hold us up. He didn't try to join the party, was friendly without being so chummy.

Bite Me: Being a good waiter is an art form. (Bite Me's partial to waiters who come and go like a light wind during the two to three hours it takes her to finish a meal.) How do you know this silent, adoring dude standing next to you?

BT: Royce and I met on a moonlight hike on Shaw Butte.

Bite Me: Aw, shucks.

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Marnye Oppenheim
Contact: Marnye Oppenheim