This just in: Tempe is one of the horniest cities in America.
That's according to LawnStarter.com, a website that matches clients with landscaping services. We will set aside for today the question of why a lawn-care company is conducting polling on national horniness and jump straight to the results.
"LawnStarter ranked the Horniest Cities in America by comparing the 200 biggest cities based on nine key indicators of sexual arousal. Among the factors we looked at with our eyes wide shut: the share of the single population, Google search interest in adult content, and sex-toy sales. We also surveyed nearly 800 U.S. adults to gauge their libido levels during and after the pandemic," the company says.
And when the results were in, Tempe cracked the top 10, behind cities like Newark, New Jersey; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; and Orange, California. (Paradise, Nevada, was No. 1.)
Glendale was the second-highest Arizona city on the list (No. 43); other rankings include Mesa (No. 76), Phoenix (No. 88), Peoria (No. 134), Chandler (No. 149), Scottsdale (No. 163), Tucson (No. 166), and Gilbert (No. 172).
Other takeaways from the study: Tinder is the most popular app for hookups; 55 percent of Republicans versus 32 percent of Democrats are willing to have sex with unvaccinated people after the pandemic; and about 57 percent of people plan to have more sex once they're vaccinated.
The full study can be found here. And props to our east Valley friends for putting on such a good showing.