Top 5 Things to Do This Weekend

Provided you've made your list, checked it twice, and got everyone on there something naughty or nice, it might be tempting to stay home and gorge yourself on cookies, cakes, and gallons of eggnog. But the outside world beckons, from Soul Invictus' Yuletide production to the Phoenix Coyotes weekend matchup. Here are your five best bets for going out this weekend:

Bad Santa & Ugly Sweater Party @ Cadillac Ranch
This double whammy of a holiday party encapsulates the sexy Santas of the world and those who revel in the realm of really hideous sweaters. Come for the bikini show and contest for the ugliest holiday sweater, and stay for a chance to get your pic snapped with "Bad Santa & his ho ho hos." The fun starts at 9 p.m. No cover. See details here.

Edward Scissorhands Screening @ The Royale
Cult Classics and Zia Records pair up to screen this Tim Burton classic, featuring Johnny Depp before he permanently transformed into Jack Sparrow, Winona Ryder before her clepto phase, with Burton in his pre-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory state of untouchable-ness. Catch the flick tonight at 11 p.m. Tickets are $10 to $20. See more information here.

A Jewish Christmas Eve with Lisa Landry @ Stand-Up Scottsdale!
Remember that scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie and his family give up on Christmas dinner and head out for Chinese food instead? Well, it's safe to say comedian Lisa Landry wasn't performing that night. (Not that youngin's Ralphie or Randy would be allowed to attend.) The foul-mouthed funny lady goes on at 8 p.m. on Saturday. Tickets are $15 and available here.

We Heart '80s Saturdays @ Sanctum
The club night's resident turntablist Not-So-Noise.Fckr will spin classic '80s jams with special guest DJ William Fucking Reed scratching his well-known itch for darkwave, synth pop, and new wave.

Doors open at 9:30 p.m. on Saturday. No cover before 10 p.m. See more info here.

Mary X-Mas Again! @ TBA
If after putting in requisite time with the fam nothing sounds better than cutting loose with some glow sticks, a slew of DJs spinning techno dance insanity at an as yet undisclosed location, then Mary X-Mas is your best bet considering that it will have all that and, of course, more.

The dance party starts at 9 p.m. on Sunday. Admission starts at $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Check back here for location information the day of the party, or call the info hotline at 480-772-8696.

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Becky Bartkowski is an award-winning journalist and the arts and music editor at New Times, where she writes about art, fashion, and pop culture.
Contact: Becky Bartkowski