When I Think About You I Touch Myself: Five Songs In Celebration of Masturbation Month

See also: Peel Me Off This Velcro Seat: 15 Songs About Being Bored

Hope you had productive May. Today is the last day the official month of masturbation. Who comes up with that stuff, anyway?

We hope you gave yourself some lovin' this month, and we encourage you to continue doing so today, next month, and the rest of your life. This holiday just seems like a convenient excuse to bludgeon the beefsteak, but who needs a month dedicated to jerking it? After all, masturbation is good for your health, it keeps you entertained during those lonely times, and a little self-exploration is a good way to figure out what you like in bed. But let's say you missed the notice and have called in sick to make the most of today. We've gathered this list of tunes to guide you along -- though they may not be the best songs to actually ride the great white knuckler to (see our list of 10 Porno Soundtracks instead) -- but they're good tunes for a few laughs in appreciation of masturbation month.

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Melissa Fossum
Contact: Melissa Fossum