Cocktails

How to Make a Mint Julep With New Times Editor Stuart Warner

Mint juleps will be in abundance on Derby Day.
Mint juleps will be in abundance on Derby Day. Melissa Fossum

Phoenix New Times editor Stuart Warner does more than edit our shit and pull in Pulitzer Prizes — he also makes a mean mint julep. And it's no surprise, since boss Warner is a University of Kentucky graduate and former sports editor and writer for the Lexington Herald-Leader.

In any case, since we personally hate trying to look up a recipe and getting someone's entire life story before the recipe-in-question's ingredients and directions are even mentioned, let's jump straight to the julep.

All the proper ingredients...

1 flamboyant hat
1 spoonful of sugar
1 bottle purified spring water
1 bottle beautiful bourbon
1 nice mint leaf
1 scissor
1 bowl of ice
1 fine sippin' whiskey glass
1 shaker

Directions...

Start with the shaker in hand, and fill it with about two-thirds of the ice. Add a spoonful of sugar, then about two ounces of water. Use your scissors to cut up the mint leaves directly over and into the shaker. Put the top on the shaker and give it a shake.

Except psych! Walk that over to the sink and toss it. Forget about it.

Take your whiskey glass and fill it with the remaining ice cubes. Pour some bourbon over the ice. And that is the perfect Kentucky mint julep.

Because who puts leaves in their bourbon? Happy Derby Day, y'all.
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Lauren Cusimano was the Phoenix New Times food editor from 2018 to 2021. Joys include eating wings, riding bikes, knowing everyone at the bar, talking too much about The Simpsons, and falling asleep while reading.