First Taste

The Best Thing on Taco Bell's Breakfast Menu is the Coffee. Ay Chihuahua!

Last week the R& D department at Taco Bell grew tired of spinning the wheel-o-ingredients for zany breakfast products (French toast sandwiches? Denver stuffed hashbrowns?), and rolled out their new "First Meal" concept across 10 lucky states. "First Meal" is what we can only assume is the hangover-killing meal you eat following a late night bender that concluded with "Fourth Meal."

We were surprised to see big name brands like Johnsonville sausage, Cinnabon, and Tropicana orange juice. It gave us hope. Even though we were eating Taco Bell at 8 in the morning, we were reassured by the hope that brands like that wouldn't allow their reputations to be tainted by terrible food.

Then we remembered that nothing good ever comes from eating Taco Bell at 8 in the morning. Still, couldn't all be bad. Could it?

Let's count down the menu offerings from best to absolute worst:

7. Seattle's Best Coffee If the line at Starbucks is too long, you could do a lot worse than Taco Bell's coffee. Granted they haven't sunk as many dollars into their brew as McD's, but it's hot, full of caffeine, and cheap. If you're feeling fancy, they have vanilla and mocha iced lattes too.

With coffee being the best thing on Taco Bell's new "First Meal" menu, abandon hope all ye who enter here...

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Erica O'Neil