According to legend, Saint Patrick himself is responsible for all of the drinking that goes down on St. Paddy's Day.
As the story goes, Patrick walked into a local Howard Johnson and paid a visit to the bar before hitting the sack. This was back in 'ye olde times so they didn't have mini-fridges in any of the rooms. Needing a night cap, Patrick walked down to the bar and asked for a shot of the "hard stuff." Whiskey. The barkeep slammed down a filmy glass and poured the drink.
All Patrick wanted was a stiff one before bed, instead he looked down at the glass and saw that the barkeep had stiffed him. The glass was less than full.
Saint Paddy, being who he was, got all philosophical and took the opportunity to teach this guy a little lesson in generosity, recession be damned. He told the barkeep that a devil lived in his cellar and had been feeding off of his dishonesty. Patrick warned him that to get rid of the monster he would have to stop shortchanging his customers.
Scared straight, the barkeep gladly began topping off all of his patron's glasses, weakening the devil enough that Patrick was able to banish his ratty ass for good. After that he declared that everyone should have a drop of whiskey from Pota Phadraig, or Patrick's Pot, on his feast day.
It turns out that devil didn't go anywhere but right into the hearts of unsuspecting imbibers everywhere. With every warm oak-tinged gulp, the devil worked his way down the gully of man, festering into what today we call alcoholism.
So happy Saint Patrick's Day, boyos! Here are five depressing songs about booze, being drunk, and the general discontent springing from Patrick's Pot.
The Kinks - "Alcohol"
Oh, demon alcohol / memories I can't recall / Who thought I would fall / a slave to demon alcohol.
Kris Kristofferson - "Sunday Morning Coming Down"
Well I woke up Sunday morning / with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt. / And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, / so I had one more for dessert.
John Lee Hooker - "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"
Well my baby she gone, she been gone two night / I ain't seen my baby since night before last / I wanna get drunk till I'm off of my mind / One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
The Doors - "Alabama Song (Whisky Bar)"
Oh, moon of Alabama / We now must say goodbye / We've lost our good old mama / And must have whiskey, oh, you know why.
Ramon Ayala - "Tragos Amargos (Bitter Drinks)"
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Drinks of bitter liquor / that don't make me forget / and I feel like a coward / and I begin to cry.