Bands Who Should Have Cruises: Lonely Island, Beyonce, Blink-182 | Phoenix New Times
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10 Musicians We Wish Had Cruises

Where's the Lonely Island cruise we've all been dreaming of?
A scene from Lonely Island's Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping.
A scene from Lonely Island's Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping. Courtesy of Universal Pictures
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Festivals have been taking place on land for decades. But taking the music out onto the ocean? It's a not-so-new trend that's making waves.

With floating festivals like Warped Tour’s Warped Rewind at Sea and Flogging Molly’s Salty Dog Cruise bringing together a bunch of our favorite bands for a week of sailing and singing, it’s only a matter of time before you’re packing your bathing suit to see go your favorite musicians perform on stage. Wherever the destination, here are some of the artists we wouldn’t mind riding the high seas with.

Blink 182
There are few people in music more delightfully goofy than Mark Hoppus, and who wouldn’t want to be stuck at sea with Travis Barker? Additionally, Matt Skiba seems like he’d be a blast to share a beer with while hanging out on deck. These guys have been in the business of soundtracking good-time escapes since the ‘90s with songs ranging from “Dammit” to “Dumpweed” and from “First Date” to “Feeling This.” We definitely wouldn’t mind being on a boat with these guys.

The Lonely Island
Speaking of being on a boat, no one has made celebrating life aboard a water vessel seem more glamorous than Andy Samberg and his mischievous cohorts. Whether you’re a shy Ronnie, a motherlover, or a certified creeper, you’ll certainly appreciate The Lonely Island’s unique sense of humor. Be forewarned, if the captain seems a bit suspect, it’s probably just Michael Bolton in disguise. So get your towels ready — it’s about to go down.

AFI
We’re just going to go ahead and assume that no one in their right mind would object to chartering a cruise for a few days with Davey Havok, and we certainly wouldn’t either. We’re huge fans of DREAMCAR and Blaqk Audio, but AFI will always hold a special place in our heart and simply can’t be rivaled by Havok’s other projects. From their older, heavier material to their newer, dramatic sound, every AFI record has its own unique tone, but carries the same rock legacy of the great band.

Gym Class Heroes
Nothing personal, but we prefer Travie McCoy back when he was still “Travis.” We remember when Gym Class Heroes first came onto the scene, blurring the line between rock and hip-hop — but in good way. They were responsible for making hip-hop more accessible for fans of the next generation of rock music and Fueled By Ramen bands like Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Cobra Starship. Back in the day, few people knew how to throw a party quite like Gym Class Heroes, and we miss that. If they wouldn’t mind getting nostalgic with us, we’d love to embark on a journey with the band.

Something Corporate
Have you ever been alone on a crowded cruise ship? Well cheer up, because Something Corporate would brighten up that “Dark Blue” by making you feel “21 and Invincible,” and for that we will always love them. As fond as we are of Jack’s Mannequin and Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness, there’s just something about McMahon’s original endeavours that uplift our spirits in a way that can’t be matched. Just remember that if you do happen to see Jordan after all these years, well ... you know the message to relay.

The Killers
Obviously a band hailing from Las Vegas knows how to have a good time. Between their feel-good vibes and anthemic tracks, The Killers would make any cruise an enjoyable experience. They’re a perfect combination of dance, pop, and rock, all of which lend themselves perfectly to that casual cruise atmosphere. By the end of your travels, they’d certainly leave you wondering “Are we human or are we dancers?” But also, what the heck does that even mean?

Missy Elliot
It’s been a long, long time since Missy Elliot decided to step away from the spotlight, but she’s returned and we couldn’t be more ecstatic. Contrary to what Remy Ma and Nicki Minaj have to say about themselves, Elliot is by far one of the most prolific female rappers in history. While other artists struggle to deliver sick beats, cool dance moves, and original videos, Elliot's always been the total package. Imagine hitting the waves with a cold drink in hand, while old school jams like “The Rain,” “Gossip Folks,” and “Get Your Freak On” are bumping through the speakers. If anyone’s going to put their thing down, flip it, and reverse it, it’s her.

My Chemical Romance
If My Chemical Romance were to announce their reunion and it happened to take place on a ship, this cruise would sell out in a matter of seconds. Thousands upon thousands of teenagers and 20-somethings would willingly develop sealegs just for a chance to see Gerard Way and the gang together, leading The Black Parade once more. The 2000s emo icons could easily sail around the world with fans cheering and screaming along to every word of their songs, like “Helena,” “I’m Not Okay,” and “The Ghost of You.” Seeing them together would definitely evoke three cheers (and not just for sweet revenge).

Beyoncé
Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy a vacation away from dry land with Beyoncé? Enough said.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Karen O and the gang are the authority in both rock band attitude and emotion, which provides the perfect score for your aquatic adventure. Whether you want to hear an upbeat tune like “Date With The Night” to get you hyped for the day ahead, or something softer like “Soft Shock” to wind down the evening to, they’ve got you covered. Besides, after the success of “Maps,” it’s probably safe to assume that navigation is one of their strong suits.

Correction: A previous version of this article referred to Matt Skiba as Mark Skiba.
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