Mitt Romney 2012: An Illustrated Wishlist of Political Kitsch

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

There are so many things to look forward to during Election Season -- voter registration, explosive political arguments with loved ones, and of course, novelty items.

No election campaign is complete without bobble heads, bumper stickers, accessories, and attire. But we have to appreciate those enterprising individuals who check outside the box, taking the political theme way too far.

In the spirit of crap we wish existed, we present the first half of our political kitsch wishlist (Obama Edition coming soon). Here are five political absurdities (Jan Brewer's recent Obama endorsement not included) that you can start buying or start making right now.

5. RomneyKub

It's really just the same old Rummikub, except for the fact that Mitt Romney's face replaces the joker and you can win the game by only using up 13 percent of your tiles.

4. Oven Mitt Romney

This one is actually already for sale. Purchase your very own set of oven Mitts to protect your hard working American hands.

3. Knit Romney

Knit Romney will decide what's best for your knitted uterus.

2. Grits Romney

Put on your best impression of Mitt Romney's horrible fake southern accent while you enjoy yourself some sweet, buttery and grits. Eat up y'all.

1. Mitt Pastromney

The Mitt Pastromney - more red meat than Obamalogna?

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.