BEST WAY TO AVOID THE AIRPORT RUNAROUND 2006 | Stage and Go Lot | People & Places | Phoenix
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BEST WAY TO AVOID THE AIRPORT RUNAROUND

Stage and Go Lot

Here's another one we can blame on Osama. For the past five years, Arizonans have been shooed away from the curb, forced to drive in hellish circles from the South to North, in search of newly arrived air passengers. Finally, the think tank at Sky Harbor has found a way to save us from "You bastard, let me in!" and "How did I end up at Terminal 3!?" The Stage and Go Lot on Sky Harbor Boulevard, west of the Terminal 2 parking garage, is where to park it. Here, updated flight information for all three terminals is provided on a display board. With full bars on your cell phone, passenger pickup should no longer be a problem. The best part? It's free.

BEST BIKING BAR TOUR

Tour de Bar

There is a maddening line of demarcation between exercise and libation, where we constantly obsess over calorie intake while tipping back a few cool ones with our mates ("If I have this one last beer, it will cost me 30 extra minutes on the treadmill"). Well, enjoy the best of both worlds while getting a full body workout of pedaling legs and frothy 16-ounce curls during October's annual Tour de Bar bike ride. The low-endurance bar tour departs Gallagher's, 7575 North 16th Street, and covers eight watering holes over a five-mile stretch in north central Phoenix, including Rosie McCaffrey's, George & Dragon, and Pomeroy's. Approximately 30 minutes is spent at each spot for suds and pub grub, and overnight parking is available. The event is free; just bring your own bike and enough cash to pump up that spare tire around your waist.

BEST SHORTCUT THROUGH RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC

Sky Harbor Boulevard

It's quitting time and you've gotta beat feet home to your East Valley domicile double-quick. Too bad Interstate 10 is a parking lot. But before you anger up the blood and throw another road rage, shave plenty of time off your commute by taking Sky Harbor Boulevard. The twisting thoroughfare cutting through the middle of the airport is your roadway redemption, as low amounts of traffic during both the morning and evening rush hours allows you to bypass gridlock in both directions and cut your drive time in half (even with the perpetual construction that's occurring). At either end of this godsend from gridlock are off-ramps to various freeways including Loops 101 and 202, State Routes 143 and 153, and the aforementioned I-10. While other commuters are throwing transit-induced temper tantrums after facing a sea of brake lights, you'll be cruising quickly on home, cubicle drone.

BEST AFTER-HOURS

Charlie's

Matt Hennie
There's very little in the way of after-hours action here in the PHX other than a handful of danceterias daring to stay open after last call. On the constant lookout for additional all-night venues to stage their post-2 a.m. shenanigans, nightcrawlers of the Valley have been flocking to this Western-themed gay bar on Fridays and Saturdays to dance and debauch until the early morn. It's not just Brokeback Mountain-men who visit Charlie's after local bars close insomniacs of every flavor of sexual orientation come to this "lil' ole bitty pissant country place" to writhe and wriggle to house, techno, and Top 40 tracks laid down by DJ Bryan until 4 a.m. for $3 a head. It's kinda like the cross section you'd see at Gay Denny's down the street, but with a better soundtrack and a dance floor.

BEST ROCK 'N' ROLL ART

Rock Star Gallery

This inconspicuous gallery in a Scottsdale strip mall is a music geek's paradise, and for the rock memorabilia collector, owner Michael W. Dunn's collection is downright enviable. The artwork hanging on the walls is most notable because the featured artists are people like Grace Slick, Ringo Starr, Janis Joplin, Jerry Garcia, and Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones. While most of the rock-star art in the exhibit consists of limited-edition prints, there are several originals by Grace Slick on display and for sale, including Slick's fantastical white rabbits on psychedelic mushrooms, done in oil on canvas. Slick is also one of a handful of stars to host opening receptions at the gallery (as did Ron Wood, and Janis Joplin's siblings). The space also stocks tons of signed photographs, framed albums, and guitars.

BEST PLACE FOR A SECOND CHANCE

Harlow's Cafe

Patricia Escarcega
If you're on the prowl and came up short the night before, Harlow's Cafe will buy you a little extra time to make it happen. Similar to your favorite hookup bar, Harlow's offers the thrill of anonymity. The low ceilings and booth seating create the atmosphere of a road-trip breakfast stop. Chances are, there will be another table of Mill Avenue rejects also nursing their hangovers. They may have lost the drink in their hand, but still have a wandering eye hoping to salvage at least one hookup for the weekend. Harlow's lends the perfect opportunity for you to give it one last try, "Didn't I see you last night at . . . ?" And the food's not bad, either.

BEST ROCK 'N' ROLL TEACHER

Abe Gil

With apologies to Jack Black, Abe Gil is running the real School of Rock. When he isn't wearing wild outfits and crashing about downtown music venues like Holgas or Modified as the one-man noise polluter Treasure Mammal, the 26-year-old teaches music, math, and art to seventh- and eighth-graders at Montessori Academy in Scottsdale. As riotous as his act gets, Gil's not worried about his students learning about his alter ego. In fact, he even enlisted their help in creating a hidden track for Expect the Max, his recently released CD. It all came about in 2003 when Gil grew weary of his charges bickering with each other, and started getting in their faces with a humorous and gentle song called "Friendship." They eventually dug the ditty and ultimately adopted it as their class theme and performed it for his disc. Some students even formed their own band, Treasure Mammal, Jr., as a result, and have played on the same bill as their teacher's act. Now that's a happy ending worthy of a movie.

BEST PLACE TO SEE PHOENIX PD UNPLUGGED

Mojo Music

Downtown art scenesters have gotten used to seeing the long arm of the law in their midst since August 2005, when Phoenix police officers stepped up their patrolling of First Fridays along Roosevelt Row. Artists and gallery owners have peeped po-pos standing on street corners, checking out their work, and even strumming a guitar or two. Yep, it seems as though a few coppers have been known to stop by attorney Kelly McDonald's tiny guitar shop located at Artisan Villages to peruse and play any number of the axes and acoustics on display. Taking a short break from their duties, these members of Phoenix's Finest have jammed out to Led Zeppelin and Nirvana, but unfortunately, not Ice-T's block-rocking hit "Cop Killer" or N.W.A's "Fuck Tha Police." Maybe they'll take requests.

BEST PLACE TO PICK UP A DAY LABORER

Dr. AJ Chandler Park

While we ain't doctors or anything, we're pretty sure if Minuteman Project spokesperson Chris Simcox drove past this downtown Chandler square on an early weekend morning, the immigrant-busting vigilante would suffer a heart attack. After all, more than a hundred unemployed Hispanics gather near the park, located along Arizona Avenue between Boston and Buffalo streets, hoping to nab some work from any of the contractors or other construction cronies cruising by in their pickups looking for some cheap help installing drywall or any other house-building chore. Many an immigrant journeyman has ventured here after getting driven away from previous popular day laborer pickup spots like Gilbert Road in Mesa or 36th Street and Thomas Road in Phoenix. No word if Simcox and company are planning on setting up any thermal cameras just yet.

BEST SHADE

Clarendon Hotel and Suites

Don't expect to find howling coyotes and Monument Valley vistas within the environs of the Clarendon Hotel's art-friendly lobby and spacious suites. From nude portraits by Chris Raboin to Leigh Merrill's abstract photographic landscapes, the stylish boutique hotel boasts a variety of local artists, including the hippest window shades in town. Created by eye lounge painter Doug Oland, who uses a fairly formal painting style in the way he makes marks and builds through layers, the sliding curtains are printed on a specialized plastic that models the plywood medium that Oland paints upon. Each room houses at least one of two reproductions of Oland's Southwest-themed large-format abstracts. One portrays an agave plant augmented by floating pink and red hues; the other illustrates a desert monsoon with indigo clouds. We can't resist; we've gotta say it: The Clarendon's got it made in the shade.

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