Metro Phoenix's Best Things to Do This Weekend: Gift Markets, Winter HorrorFest, and More

We're into the final grind before the holidays and there's a lot to do. This weekend, you can check a few things off of your to-do lists (including shopping for gifts at local marketplaces), as well as enjoy some Christmas-themed performances. You can also geek out, get a good scare, or partake in one of the biggest parades of the year.

Read on for full details about everything that's happening around the Valley from Friday, December 16, to Sunday, December 18, or click over to Phoenix New Times' online calendar for even more things to do.

Jackalope in Retrograde

Downtown Phoenix’s monthly Third Friday sessions have always been a mix of art, music, and culture, all of which will be a part of the Jackalope in Retrograde show. This free event on Friday, December 16, at The Trunk Space, 1124 North Third Street, will offer performances from bands and musicians like The Necronauts, Gohne, Partyteeth, and TJ Friga from Playboy Manbaby. Meanwhile, painter JJ Horner will conduct a live art session, Jia Oak Baker will show off her visual artistry, and "Hip Historian" Marshall Shore will make an appearance. Doors open at 7 p.m. and the event starts at 7:30 p.m.

Arizona Coyotes vs. New York Islanders

It’s a depressing time to be a fan of Valley big-league sports teams. To wit: The Phoenix Suns have been on a losing streak as of late while the Arizona Cardinals are wrapping up one of their most wretched and disappointing years ever. And then there are the Arizona Coyotes, who have produced a middling effort during the first two months of the current NHL season. They’re currently near the bottom of the Western Conference rankings at 9-17-4 and have lost nine out of their last 10 games. Things aren’t going to get any easier for the Yotes, as they’re set to face a series of better teams over the next few weeks, beginning with a battle against the New York Islanders on Friday, December 16, at Mullett Arena, 411 South Packard Drive in Tempe. The puck drops at 7:30 p.m. and tickets start at $40.

The Dolly Disco

Dolly Parton is not only a legendary musician, noted philanthropist, and an all-around national treasure, she’s apparently the inspiration behind a touring country and western-themed “diva dance party.” Known as The Dolly Party, the event visits venues across the U.S. and offers locals the chance to scoot their boots across the dance floor while DJs spin a mix of ‘70s disco music and various country songs performed by Patron and other female vocalists. It’s set to roll into The Van Buren, 401 West Van Buren Street, at 9 p.m. on Friday, December 16. Expect to hear “Jolene, “9 to 5” and numerous other Dolly hits, as well as tunes from Tina Turner, Carrie Underwood, Reba McEntire, Donna Summer, Shania Twain, Whitney Houston, and others. Tickets are $15 per person.

Winter HorrorFest

Just because we’re in a season that’s supposed to be all cheery and bright doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy something frightening and dark. Anyone who’s more into things scary than merry can attend the inaugural Winter HorrorFest this weekend. The three-day event, which is subtitled “The Fright Before Christmas,” will haunt the Phoenix Center for the Arts, 1202 North Third Street, from Friday, December 16, to Sunday, December 18. On tap are film screenings, panels, vendors, and artists, all of whom are tied to the horror genre. Guests include actors Eugene Clark (Land of the Dead) and John Dugan (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre), actress Eileen Dietz (The Exorcist), special effects guru Mick Strawn, amateur vampirologist Brent Myers, and author/photographer Paul Koudounaris. Complete details and a full schedule are available here.

A Christmas Story: The Play

A Christmas Story is such a quintessential part of this time of year that you’re guaranteed to have seen the film version at least a few times by now, or at least committed a few of its best lines to memory. All of your favorite moments from the classic tale of Ralphie Parker and his quest for a genuine Red Ryder BB gun will be included in Desert Stages Theatre’s staging of A Christmas Story: The Play, which wraps up its current run this weekend. Performances are at 7:30 p.m. on Friday, December 16; 2 and 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, December 17; and 2 p.m. on Sunday, December 18, at the theatre, which is located at 7014 East Camelback Road, Suite 0586, inside Fashion Square Mall. Tickets are $30 each.

Fiesta Bowl Parade

You may or may not be into this year’s Fiesta Bowl, which will pit TCU against Michigan, but even non-college football fans tend to enjoy the annual parade that accompanies the game. This year’s edition of the Fiesta Bowl Parade will take place on Saturday, December 17, and feature the theme “Legends Made Here.” It will mark the 50th anniversary of the event and include all of the usual marching bands, floats, and pageantry, as well as iconic Phoenix Suns play-by-play announcer Al McCoy as grand marshal. The parade departs from Central and Montebello avenues starting at 10 a.m. and will end up at Seventh Street and Minnezona Avenue. It’s free to watch and reserved seating tickets are available on the secondary market if you’d like a better view.

The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe

Long-running podcast The Skeptics' Guide to the Universe has been debunking myths, conspiracies, half-truths, and junk science since 2005. Its M.O. has been “promoting critical thinking and science literacy,” two things that have been under constant attack in recent years. This weekend, the folks behind the podcast, which includes neurologist Steven Novella and his brothers Bob and Jay, will bring their live show “A Skeptical Extravaganza of Special Significance” to Crescent Ballroom, 308 North Second Street, at 8 p.m. on Saturday, December 17, for an evening of entertainment and “sciencey games.” Musician and comedian George Hrab will host. Tickets are $45 to $55 for general admission and $125 for a VIP package.

Ugly Sweater Bar Crawl

Ugly holiday sweaters used to be something best kept hidden from public view in the deep recesses of your closet or dresser. Nowadays, though, these charmingly atrocious abominations are worn with pride at various parties and nightlife events. Such will be the case this weekend when hundreds of local revelers don themed pullovers for the Scottsdale Ugly Sweater Bar Crawl. Participants will gather at Throne Brewing & Pizza Kitchen, 1326 North Central Avenue, starting at 2 p.m. on Saturday, December 17, before heading out to other nearby drinking establishments. Exclusive drink specials will be offered at each stop and the best sweaters will win cash prizes. Tickets are $15.99 per person and are available here along with more details.

Slacker Holiday Gift Market

So you’ve waited until the week before Christmas to get your holiday shopping done? Don’t sweat it, lazybones, as there’s still time and plenty to hit up that don’t include big-box retailers. Case in point: the annual Slacker Holiday Gift Market outside of monOrchid, 214 East Roosevelt Street, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday, December 17, and Sunday, December 18. Dozens of local artists and creatives will set up shop each day and sell their wares. Food trucks will also be on hand and the DJs of Recordbar Radio will be spinning music throughout the event. Attendees can also get photos with Santa from noon until 2 p.m. both days. Admission is $5 per person. Click here for more details and a complete list of vendors.

Steve Cardenas Signings

Like many folks, actor and martial artist Steve Cardenas has been mourning the recent death of fellow Mighty Morphin Power Ranger star Jason David Frank. The two starred together in a half-dozen different MMPR television shows and two movies in the ‘90s and beyond with Cardenas playing Rocky DeSantos (a.k.a. the Red and Blue Ranger) and Frank as Tommy Oliver (a.k.a. the Green and White Ranger). “Jason was the first person to welcome me on set in 1994 and later introduced me to social media, comic cons, and event promoters all around the world,” Cardenas posted on Instagram last month following Frank’s death. This weekend, Cardenas will appear at two local signings during a visit to the Valley. He’ll be at Collectors Marketplace, 1945 East Indian School Road, from noon to 2 p.m. on Saturday, December 17. The following day, you can catch him at Glendale’s Pop ‘n’ Anime, 6800 North 95th Avenue, from noon to 2 p.m. on Sunday, December 18. It's free to attend but signatures and selfies will be $40 each.

Crafeteria Holiday Series

In case you hadn’t heard, this year’s edition of the Crafeteria Holiday Series has been taking place every weekend since Thanksgiving. As is the norm for the annual event, it features a lineup of the Valley’s best makers, artisans, and craftspeople selling their handmade creations outside of Frances Boutique, 10 West Camelback Road. There’s a different lineup each day and this weekend is your final chance to stop by. The selection on Saturday, December 17, will include 516 Ceramics, Naked Fig Soap Co., Western Works, Vishaka Johnson Jewelry, and Farmer’s Daughter; while such vendors and artists as Click Bloom, Sunday Mornings Shop, Desert Dust Jewelry, Con Safos Illustrations, and Eternal Noir Jewelry will be available on Sunday, December 18. Hours are from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. each day and it's free to attend. More details and a complete lineup are here.

Barbra Seville's Christmas Bonus Show

So what does local drag icon Barbara Seville do for an encore after helping defeat the gubernatorial bid of former friend Kari Lake? Putting on a charity show benefiting the homeless, that’s what. Seville will host and perform at “comedy and drag extravaganza” on Sunday, December 18, at Stand Up Live, 50 West Jefferson Street. The event will include sets by comedians Tony Tripoli and Ray Earl, as well as drag artists Pussy Lahoot, Princess Prozac, Olivia Gardens, and Janee Star. Proceeds will benefit the Finding My Shoes Foundation and donations of blankets, hats, socks, and shoes will also be collected at the show, which starts at 6 p.m. General admission is $10, VIP tickets with reserved seating are $25, and there’s a two-drink minimum for either option.

Island of Misfit Toys Burlesque

Santa might be adding the various burlesque artists of Three Fates Revue to his naughty list after this holiday showcase on Sunday, December 18, at Cruisin' 7th, 3702 North Seventh Street. According to the troupe’s Facebook, they’ll serve up a “night of oddball burlesque” starring local burlesque, drag, and variety performers in the saucy and nerdy vein like Luna Lovebutton and Pepper Mint Schnapps. Doors are at 4 p.m. and the show begins promptly at 5 p.m. Tickets are $18 for bronze seating in the back, $23 for silver seating in the middle of the room, and $30 for gold VIP seating in the front.