Oh, golly gee, did y'all see yet another white-bread Indiana gal win the Miss America pageant? Don't worry, according to the Nielsen ratings, no one else did, either.

Now, if the talent portion had featured Phoenix’s fire-toting hottie Pyra Sutra shaking her flaming rack, we might’ve watched. Sutra will get her chance at rhinestone-studded glory during The House of Requited Favors variety show. Other performers include burlesque legend Satan’s Angel, Babs the belly dancer, Scandalesque (natch), world fusion group Soleil Noir, and violinist Myra Lin and soprano Helene Pouillon portraying divas who refuse to share the same dressing room – something we’re sure those Miss America airheads know all about.

Sat., Feb. 21, 8 p.m., 2009
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Wynter Holden
Contact: Wynter Holden