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Top 5 Things to Do in Metro Phoenix This Weekend

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Get plans, Phoenix. Here are Jackalope Ranch's top picks for things to do this weekend.

Chambers of Fear Haunted House For true adrenaline junkies Halloween is much more than just cutely carved pumpkins, trick-or-treaters, and adults in slutty costumes. To get the blood pumping these brave souls venture out into the Valley's most terrifying attractions including the nightmare-fueled necessity that is Chambers of Fear.

See also: New Times' Calendar of Events

Coincidentally located in Surprise, this maze of monsters and mayhem offers three haunted attractions spanning over 25,000 square feet that encompass Chambers of Fear, Den of Darkness, and the new Scary Tales. The doors to Chambers of Fear Haunted House will be open throughout September, October, and early November at 11340 West Bell Road. General admission is $22 and R.I.P. admission is $27, with either ticket giving you access to all three houses. Haunted House hours are 7 p.m. to midnight Fridays, Saturdays, and Halloween night; 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. all other days. For more details, visit www.chambersoffear.com. -- Katie Johnson

The [Sic] Sense Sketch Comedy Presents: Revenge of The [Sic] @ Phoenix Center for the Arts In spring, swallows return to Capistrano. While we support swallowing in general, autumn reappearances are often even better -- like The [sic] Sense Sketch Comedy Troupe, our fave performance group with a Latin editorial comment in its name. Formerly on Grand Avenue, the Siccies hit the comeback trail with Revenge of the [sic], in the groovy, air-conditioned Basement Theatre at Phoenix Center for the Arts, 1202 North Third Street.

New peeps and new sketches will make the new space buzz with song parodies, adult humor, and weirdness starting at 9:30 p.m. Friday, September 27. It's a case of "the later the better," because this stuff really synchs with the indecent-hour biorhythms. Get advance tix for $15 at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/450482, or take your chances at the door for $20, for shows through Saturday, September 28. If you want to try a conversation, go for 602-214-4344. But honestly, we've already said it all. -- Julie Peterson

Keen Halloween Leave it to Steam Crow's Daniel and Dawna Davis to bring us a much needed alternative to the commercial Halloween monotony. The indie artist duo that eats, sleeps, and breathes Halloween (and possibly candy corn) has taken charge yet again in the hunt for handmade, artisan, and retro-style tricks and treats with the second annual Keen Halloween.

The two-day event will offer all forms of the creepy and creative including sugar skull and zombie makeup demos, Thriller dance classes, appearances from Dr. Diabolic, and of course some one-of-a-kind shopping at the Monster Market.

Keen Halloween returns Saturday, September 28, from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Sunday, September 29, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. inside Sano Fitness Studio at Metroenter Mall, 9617 North Metro Parkway West, Suite 2004. Tickets are $9.18 for a day pass, $15.30 for a weekend pass. For the full schedule, visit www.keenhalloween.com. -- Katie Johnson

Kathy Griffin @ Desert Diamond Casino

Kathy Griffin might be our favorite person. Between her celebrity trash talking, being BFFs with Anderson Cooper, and her readiness to skewer her own life by poking fun at her abundance of butt sweat, badass wino mom Maggie "Tip It!" Griffin, and romantic woes we're pretty sure that we could hang tight with the woman who is most definitely the heiress to the Joan Rivers Queen of Mean throne.

All those reasons with the added incentive of fresh A-lister gossip and impressions make driving down to Sahuarita -- yes, you'll pass Tucson on the 10 -- to see her Saturday, September 28, 100 percent worth it. Griffin will perform her latest material (lordy, we're hoping for some Kimye baby jokes) at Desert Diamond Casino, 1100 West Pima Mine Road. Based on recent set reviews, expect a solid bit of bitchy over Miley Cyrus and her ongoing twerkathon. Doors open at 7 p.m., and the show starts at 8. Tickets are $35 to $55 via www.ticketmaster.com. -- Becky Bartkowski

Captive Beauty @ Phoenix Art Museum

It may sound like an episode of

Orange is the New Black

, but for one week a Colombian jail transformed itself, complete with evening dresses and makeup, to host the Miss Penitentiary Crown.

Captive Beauty, playing at the Phoenix Art Museum for a one-time-only showing this Sunday, chronicles the lives of four contestants, prisoners whose crimes span the likes of murder, kidnapping, con-artistry and revolution. Through personal interviews and pageantry footage, the film tells the story of growing up in Medellin, Colombia, one of the most violent cities on earth, and how this shaped their identities, conception of innocence, relationship to beauty and own femininity.

Clocking in at 72 minutes, the 2011 feature is shown in Spanish with English subtitles.

The film starts at 1 p.m. Sunday, September 29, at the Phoenix Art Museum, 1625 North Central Avenue. Tickets are $7 for members, $10 for non-members. Call 602-257-1222 or visit www.phxart.org. -- Janessa Hilliard

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