So I think we all knew going into last night's rock-themed episode of Idol that Danny Gokey was going to have problems. The guy is about as rock n' roll as my grandma after hip replacement surgery (Hi Nana!). I was honestly really excited to see him make a fool of himself, and, always eager to please, Gokey did not disappoint.
His version of Aerosmith's "Dream On" was just about the most perfectly horrible thing he could have done, and I watched half of it with my hands over my eyes, like a horror movie where you know the girl in the shower is going to get killed and you sort of want to see it and you sort of don't. The whole thing was off-pitch, but the best part came at the end when he decided to give us the Primal Scream of Death. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry or run to the bathroom to put some salve on my bleeding ears. Dude, you're performing a rock song in a freaking vest. Did you really expect us to buy it?
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Minus Gokey, the rest of the show went pretty much as expected. Adam and Allison knew it was their episode to lose, and they both delivered, Adam with his version of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" and Allison rocking Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby." The judges loved Lambert but were lukewarm toward Allison, who I personally thought had the best vocal of the night and put a little more energy into her performance than Adam.
The highlight, however, came during a duet between the two on Slow Ride, which was as entertaining and awesome as Gokey was off-key and unbelievable (and which also made me miss Michael Johns and Carly Smithson from last season a little bit).
And then there was Kris Allen, about whom there really isn't anything to say. His version of the Beatles' "Come Togetherr" was neither bad or good. At least Gokey entertained me with his utter terribleness. Kris just sort of made me want to go to sleep (as did Slash, who, as a guest mentor, I had higher hopes for. At least his hair looked as awesome as ever). Gokey and Kris also did a nice duet, but it wasn't good enough to make me forget the train wreck that was either one of their performances.
I predict Kris to go home tonight, but I hope on all that is holy and sacred that it's Gokey. In fact, I've decided I'm boycotting Lenscrafters until he goes (I would say the same thing about Kara, but apparently that decision has already been made). Anyone with me?