When we started watching Fuller House, we thought this season, like most other Netflix originals, would only be 10 episodes. Come to find out, it's a network-average 13 — which is good in most cases. However, sans commercials, these episodes are an average of about 26 minutes each. Take that number, subtract the average sitcom's 22-minute run time and multiply by 13. That's an extra 52 minutes, or two more episodes. Oh Mylanta!
It's aggressive for a show that — while binge-worthy — is built on the foundation of nostalgia. We should be wrapping up storylines like Kimmy and Fernando's will they/won't they this late in the game, but the writers can afford to drag it out. All the fluff is exhausting its automatically earned goodwill, sort of like a mediocre Tinder date.
As it were, episode 9 is all about coming on too strong. We begin with our she-wolf pack hanging in the kitchen. With them is honorary she-wolf Becky, who was taking a few days off after the Wake Up San Francisco reunion. Still no idea what that means, except for having her around and indulging in a non-nonsensical filler scene where she dressed up the baby in miscellaneous costumes. We get it — she's bored and wants another baby. Didn't Comet Jr. Jr. have a bunch of puppies? Someone send one to Becky so Tommy Jr. can be spared future Instagram posts like this surfacing:
As the girls are chatting, Nerd Captain Max barges in to tell them they have to come to the living room because something amazing has happened. What they find is an entire room full of bouquets of roses, somehow delivered without any of them hearing it. They search around for a card, but unbeknownst to them, we see Cosmo slink out with the envelope in mouth.
Each of our ladies has reason to believe that they're meant for them. DJ and Hunky Dr. Matt swapped spit last episode, and Steve is still flailing around desperately to win her back. Kimmy and Fernando are getting back together for whatever reason. Stephanie has several suitors, because what ~*world-renowned DJ*~ doesn't? Becky's just along for the ride, since she's been off the market for as long as Zac Efron has been alive. Needless to say, it's a big gesture with big implications for whomever they're intended for.
In kid world, Jackson is still pining over Ramona's friend Lola. Sadly, a hasty, "Hey dude!" as she arrived home pretty much sealed his place in the friend zone. As Ramona pointed out, once you're in the friend zone, you can't come back. (We're looking at you, Steve!) After he begs, she lets him in on the very exciting intel that Lola likes M&Ms ... but just the red ones ... like a crazy person. Becky's presence paid off in this case, when she asks a skeptical Jackson, "Hey friend-zone, you wanna be right or you wanna be happy?"
So, he happily picked through a bag of M&M's and left a big jar of red ones on his table with the classic, "I like you, do you wanna hang out? Check Yes or No." Kids, you don't even need an app for that. However, because he oddly decided to leave it for her to find in his room, Max happened upon it. Naturally, he thinks it's for him, because apparently everyone in this episode thinks the world revolves around them. He checks yes and proceeds to inhale all of Jackson's grubby red M&Ms.
When he saw that they were all gone, he gets so psyched that he, like Steve, loses all chill and promptly interrupts Ramona and Lola. He goes on a long rant about her being his "boo" and "bae," refers to himself as "J-Money," and exclaims that their date is "gonna be off the chain!" Is that a thing kids are still doing? Even if they are, Lola wasn't having it, especially since she had no idea what he was talking about. After they realize that a sugar-filled Max was responsible, she actually agrees to hang out with him — in the company of about 12 other girls. Go get it, Jackson, but leave your chain at home.
Throughout the episode, the girls gather more evidence to support their claims on the bouquets. Matt outright says he gave DJ flowers, while Fernando outright lies that it was him (wake up, Kimmy!). Stephanie, out of nowhere, hears from her friend Harry, whom you may remember from the old days when he and Steph had a fake wedding in the backyard. If you didn't remember, the show decided this was a good time for a lengthy flashback clip, which surprisingly hasn't happened much considering what kind of show this is. Anyway, Harry texts her about the fact that she hadn't responded to something he sent her, so her obvious conclusion is that he wants to do it.
Miraculously, they all show up to the house around the same time and just in time for Becky to try and crack the case before her flight. Matt clarifies that the flowers he sent were actually a modest set of sunflowers, not this clingy nightmare. Harry tells Steph that he was actually referring to the wedding invitation he sent, not any elaborate gesture his Mrs. would not be happy about. Fernando continues to lie, because he's the worst.
It's then that Max comes in with a box full of junk that Cosmo had been hoarding under his bed. In it was in fact the card for the flowers, but after all that, the name was chewed off. No sooner is that said then Uncle Jesse comes walking through the door. For whatever reason, he came up to surprise Becky and, uh, take her to the airport? We're not quite sure. At any rate, he had actually tried to surprise her earlier — with a ton of roses. Apparently, it was just to thank her for being awesome. So, y'know, romance isn't dead and their relationship is still better than anything you'll ever have. However, that's a pretty presumptuous gift, right? It would be a lot in regular circumstances, but what was she supposed to do with them? Take a handful on the plane and leave the rest? At least a corny song travels easy.